Mukati
Kuva nomwana waunoda, kunoitika sei muhama?
Maererano nekuongorora kweAmerica, muna Gumiguru 2015, zviratidzo zve muchimwirondivo uyewo yakakwirira muvana vanofunga kuti vari pedyo zvikuru naamai vavo kupfuura pakati peavo funga kuti ndivo vanga vachinetsana naye zvakanyanya, kana kuti zvakanyanya kumuodza mwoyo. Chidzidzo chacho zvakare chinoti pane hapana musiyano pakati pevasikana nevakomana. Catherine Sellenet, nyanzvi yezvepfungwa uye munyori webhuku "Mwana anofarira, rombo kana mutoro?", Anotsanangura muzuva nezuva Le Monde, muna 2014, kuti " zvinodiwa nevabereki chinhu chisingatsananguriki, chinoshungurudza chinoitika zvinonyadzisa. Iye anodarika, haaenderani nemuenzaniso wakanaka wemhuri uko zvese zvinogovaniswa zvakaenzana, ”anotsanangura kudaro. Anne Bacus, chiremba wepfungwa, anofunga, nokuda kwake, kuti vabereki havafaniri kugara vachitsvaka kuenzana pakati pevana vavo. Tsanangudzo.
Favorite mwana, taboo subject
Kuve mwana anodiwa inyaya yakavanzika mumhuri. “Vabereki havawanzomuudza zviri kutsi kwemwoyo. Hazvina maturo uye kazhinji hazvizivi. Kazhinji, vanozviziva pachavo mune mumwe wevana nokuti vanoona maari chikamu chavo pachavo. Kana, pane hunhu hunhu hwavanonyanya kufarira mune imwe ”, inotsanangura Anne Bacus. Kuvana, kuda uku kwaisazova pachena zvachose kurarama. ” Chimiro che "anodiwa" chinopiwa pakati pehama nehanzvadzi. Vanotaura kune mumwe nemumwe kazhinji, "iwe, ndiwe mudiwa ", Pasina kutaura zvinonzwika zvazvinoita kwavari," anotsanangura kuderera.
Apo mubereki mumwe nomumwe ane zvaanoda
Kazhinji pane" chido chechisikigo uye chinongoerekana chaitika chemubereki kumwana akadai. Baba "vachada" mukuru uye muduku kuna amai, somuenzaniso! », Anowedzera Anne Bacus. Zvinhu hazvina kunyanyoshata pakadai. Mwana waanoda anodzivirirwa kupfuura vamwe nemubereki anomupuruzira here? ” Kwete hazvo. Zvichamutsa godo muvana vanin’ina, nokudaro zvichimutsa makwikwi pakati pevana. Kazhinji, kunzwa kusarongeka kunogona kukura kwaari: sei iye uye kwete ini? », Inoratidza nyanzvi yepfungwa. Anotaurawo kuti mumhuri isina zvaanoda, vana vose vanofunga kuti vamwe vanhu ndivo vanodiwa.
Chenjera kusarura!
Anne Bacus anoyambira vabereki. “Chenjerera maitiro evabereki: kana paine humbowo hwekuti pane kusarurana, zvinogona kuita kuti vana vasafare », Anotsanangura. Kunzwa kusaruramisira kunogona kumuka uye kuita kuti mwana asingadiwi atambure (mukunyarara). Kana vanun'una vasingawirirane zvakanyanya, kukakavara, kukwikwidzana uku kunogona kukonzerwa nerusarura rwevakuru. “Vana vachapedza nguva yavo vachiyera izvo mumwe nomumwe anazvo,” inodaro nyanzvi yendangariro.
Usaedza kuenzana
Kuti vadzivise rudzi urwu rwemakwikwi, Anne Bacus anopa zano vabereki kuti vaudze vana vavo kuti: “ Ndine vana vaviri chete. Uye ndinokuda zvakanyanya, mumwe nemumwe nezvauri. Wakasiyana mumoyo mangu! », Anotsanangura. Anotendawo kuti munhu haafanire kutsvaga kuenzana pazvese. "Pamusoro pazvose, kusapinda mumutambo wevana vanotsvaga kuenzana kwakakwana. Semuenzaniso, kana mumwe wavo achiti "aive neizvi, ndinoda zvakafanana", mubereki anogona kutaura kuti mwana wega wega anogamuchira zvaanoda kana kunyanya zvaanoda uye sezvo vakasiyana, izvi hazvina kufanana kune wese munhu, "anotsanangura psychologist. Zvakakosha kuti mubereki afunge nezvekusiyana uye unhu hwemwana mumwe nomumwe uye haaedzi "zvachose" kuita zvakafanana kana kunyanya zvakafanana kune wese. ” Mwana wega wega anofanira kurumbidzwa nezvaari, panguva dzakasiyana, nemhaka bedzi yokuti vabereki vanovada nenzira yakasiyana! », Anopedzisa chiremba wepfungwa.
Testimonial: Ndinoda mwanakomana wangu mukuru pane munin'ina wake
Kwandiri, zvaive pachena kuve nevana ... Saka pandakasangana nemurume wangu, Bastien, pazera remakore 26, ndakakurumidza kuda kubata pamuviri. Mushure memwedzi gumi yekumirira, ndakanga ndine pamuviri pemwana wangu wekutanga. Ndakagara pamuviri wangu ndakanyarara: Ndakafara zvikuru kuva amai! Kusununguka kwangu kwakafamba zvakanaka. Zvino pandakangotarira mwanakomana wangu Dhavhidhi, ndakanzwa kutambudzika kukuru, love at first sight kumwana wangu uyo aive akanaka kwazvo pasi rose… misodzi yangu mumaziso angu! Mai vangu vakaramba vakati ndiye dhuma dhuma neni, ndakadadisa. Ndakamuyamwisa and chikafu chese chaitondinakidza. Takasvika kumba ndokuenderera mberi nehoneymoon pakati pemwana wangu. Uyezve, akakurumidza kurara. Ndaida kakomana kangu kupfuura chinhu chipi nechipi, izvo zvakaita kuti murume wangu aite chihure zvishoma, uyo aifunga kuti ndaisava nehanya naye!
Murume wangu akataura nezvekuwedzera mhuri apo mwanakomana wangu akanga ari 3 1/2
David paakanga aine matatu nehafu, Bastien akataura nezvekuwedzera mhuri. Ndakabvuma, asi kufunga nezvazvo mushure mechokwadi, handina kumhanyira kutanga wechipiri. Ndaitya kuita kwemwana wangu, kuwirirana kwedu kwaiwirirana. Uye mune imwe kona yemusoro wangu, ndakafunga kuti handizove nerudo rwakawanda rwekupa kune wechipiri. Pashure pemwedzi mitanhatu, ndakabata pamuviri ndokuedza kugadzirira David nokuda kwokuberekwa kwehanzvadzi yake duku. : takamuudza kuti aive musikana patakangoziva isu. Haana kufara zvakanyanya nokuti angadai akafarira mukoma muduku "kutamba naye", sezvaakataura!
Saka ndakabereka Victoria, aiyevedza kudya, asi handina kunzwa kuvhunduka kwandainge ndaita ndichiona mukoma wake. Ndakaona zvichindishamisa, asi handina kunetseka. Chokwadi, chaive mupfungwa dzangu ndechekuti David aizogamuchira sei kahanzvadzi kake, uye ndaityirawo kuti kuzvarwa kwemwana wangu wechipiri kwaizochinja hukama hwedu hwaive hwakasanganiswa. David paakaona Victoria kekutanga, akatya zvikuru, haana kuda kumubata akatanga kutamba nechimwe chematoyi ake asina kana hanya naye kana kuti neni! Mumwedzi yakatevera, upenyu hwedu hwakachinja zvikuru.Victoria aiwanzomuka usiku, kusiyana nemukoma wake akanga akurumidza kurara. Ndakapera simba, kunyangwe murume wangu aindiudza zvakanaka. Masikati ndakatakura kasikana kangu zvakanyanya, nekuti kaikurumidza kudzikama uku. Ichokwadi kuti aigara achichema uye zvaitoda, ndakamuenzanisa naDavid uyo aiva mwana ane rugare pazera rimwe chete. Pandaiva ndakagumbatira kamwana kaduku, mwanakomana wangu aiuya pedyo neni ondikumbira kuti ndimbundire… Aidawo kuti ndimutakure. Nyangwe ndakamutsanangurira kuti aive murefu, sisi vake aive rusvava. Ndakaziva kuti aiva negodo. Izvo pakupedzisira ndeye classic. Asi ini, ndakanga ndichitamba zvinhu, ndakanzwa ndine mhaka nokuda kwokutarisira zvishomanene mwanakomana wangu uye ndakaedza “kugadzirisa” kupfurikidza nokumupa zvipo zviduku nokumutsvoda nokukurumidza apo mwanasikana wangu akanga arara! Ndaitya kuti aizondida zvishoma!
“Ndakapedzisira ndabvuma kuti pamwe ndaida David pane Victoria”
Zvishoma nezvishoma, nekunyengera, ndakapedzisira ndabvuma ndega kuti pamwe ndaida David pane Victoria. Ndikazvishingisa kutaura ndega ndakanyara. Asi ndichiri kuzviongorora, zvinhu zvidiki zvakawanda zvakadzoka mundangariro dzangu: ichokwadi kuti ndakamirira nguva refu ndisati ndaenda kunotora Victoria mumaoko angu paakanga achichema, uku David, pazera rimwe chete, ini ndaive pedyo. iye wechipiri! Ndaive ndayamwisa mwana wangu kwemwedzi misere, Victoria ndakanga ndarega kuyamwisa mwana wangu mwedzi miviri asununguka ndichiti ndanzwa kuneta. Kutaura zvazviri, ndakaramba ndichienzanisa mafungiro angu nezvose, uye ndakawedzera kuzvipa mhosva.
Zvese izvi zvakandipedza simba asi handina kuzvishingisa kuudza murume wangu kuti aizonditongesa. Saizvozvo, Handina wandakaudza nezvazvo, ndainzwa amai vakashata nemwanasikana wangu. Ndakanga ndava kushaya hope! Victoria, ichokwadi, akanga ari kasikana kaduku akashatirwa, asi panguva imwe cheteyo, aindisekesa zvikuru apo taitamba tose. Ndaizvidemba kuti ndiine pfungwa dzakadaro. Ndakarangarirawo kuti pamuviri pangu pechipiri ndaitya kuti handaizokwanisa kuda mwana wangu wechipiri nesimba rakafanana nerekutanga. Uye zvino zvaiita kunge zvichiitika ...
Ida mumwe wevana vake: Ndakabvunza kuderera kunoshamisa
Murume wangu akanga asipo zvikuru nokuda kwebasa rake, asi akaona kuti ndakanga ndisiri pamusoro. Akandibvunza mibvunzo yandisina kumupindura. Ndakanzwa ndine mhosva pamusoro paVictoria… kunyangwe airatidzika kunge ari kukura zvakanaka. Ndainge ndave kutotanga kusvotekana. Ndakanga ndisiri kuzviita! Mumwe weshamwari dzangu dzepedyo akabva andiraira kuti ndiende kunoona chiremba wepfungwa kuti ndinzwisise zvaiitika mumusoro mangu! Ndakawana “kuputsika” kunoshamisa kwandakakwanisa kuudza zvakavanzika. Kakanga kari kekutanga kutaura nemumwe munhu nezvekushungurudzika kwangu nemanzwiro angu kuti ndaida mwanakomana wangu pane mwanasikana wangu. Aiziva kuwana mashoko ekundifadza. Akanditsanangurira kuti zvakanga zvakajairika kupfuura zvaunofunga. Asi kuti yakaramba iri nyaya yakashata, saka vanaamai vakanzwa vaine mhosva. Mukati mepurogiramu, ndakanzwisisa kuti haudi vana vako nenzira imwe cheteyo, uye kuti ndokwomuzvarirwo kuva noukama hwakasiyana nomumwe nomumwe wavo. Kunzwa, zvichienderana nenguva, zvakanyanya kuwirirana neimwe, zvino neimwe, haigone kuve yakanyanyisa. Huremu hwemhosva dzangu dzandaikweva nadzo dzakatanga kudzikira. Ndakanzwa kurerukirwa kuti ndisave nyaya. Ndakazotaura nyaya nemurume wangu uyo ainge angooma mate mukanwa. Aizviona kuti ndaisave nemoyo murefu naVictoria uye kuti David ndaimubata semwana mucheche asi aifunga kuti vana mai vese vaive netsitsi kumwana wavo. Tasarudza pamwe chete kuti tive vakangwarira zvikuru. Victoria aisambofunga kuti aive "dhadha rakashata" raamai vake uye David aifanira kutenda kuti ndiye "mudiwa". Murume wangu akaita gadziriro dzokuvapo zvikuru pamusha ndokutarisira vana zvikuru.
Pamazano e "shrink" yangu, ndakatora majana ekutora mumwe nemumwe wevadiki vangu kufamba, kune show, kudya Mac-Do, nezvimwe. Ndakagara nomwanasikana wangu kwenguva refu pandakamurarisa ndokumuverengera boka remabhuku, izvo ndakanga ndaita zvishomanene zvikuru kusvikira zvino. Ndakaona rimwe zuva kuti chokwadi mwanasikana wangu aiva neunhu hwakawanda hwakafanana nehwangu. Kushaya mwoyo murefu, muto wemukaka. Uye hunhu uhu hwakasimba zvishoma, amai vangu chaivo vakandishora nekuda kwehudiki hwangu hwose uye kuyaruka! Taiva vasikana vaviri, uye ndaigara ndichifunga kuti amai vangu vaifarira mukoma wangu nokuti aiva nyore kugarisana naye kupfuura ini. Kutaura zvazviri, ndakanga ndiri mukudzidzira. Asi ini ndaida kupfuura chero chinhu kubuda patani iyi uye kugadzirisa zvinhu nguva ichiripo. Mugore rimwe rekurapa, ndinotenda kuti ndakabudirira kudzoreredza chiyero pakati pevana vangu. Ndakamira kunzwa ndine mhosva zuva randakanzwisisa kuti kuda zvakasiyana hazvirevi kuda zvishoma…”