“Une report mangwana. Kumbira kutafura! – “Kuzengurira chimwe chinhu, kuchine zuva rose mberi, zviri nani ndifonere shamwari yangu…” Dzimwe nguva nhaurirano dzakadai dzinoitika mukati mekuziva kwedu. Uye izvi hazvirevi kuti tine hunhu hwakakamukana. Uye nezvechii?
Pfungwa ye subpersonalities yakagadziriswa muma1980 nenyanzvi dzepfungwa Hal naSidra Stone.1. Nzira yavo inonzi Dialogue with Voices. Pfungwa yacho ndeyekuziva mativi akasiyana ehunhu hwedu, kudaidza chimwe nechimwe nemazita uye tochiona sechimiro chakasiyana. Iyo yekubatanidza sisitimu inoshanduka zvakanyanya kana isu tichinzwisisa kuti nyika yemukati haidzoreki kune imwechete kuzivikanwa. Izvi zvinotibvumira kugamuchira nyika yemukati mukupfuma kwayo kose.
Zvikamu zve "Ini" yangu
"Munhu igadziriro yakaoma kunzwisisa nekunzwisisa panguva imwe chete," anodaro transactional psychoanalyst Nikita Erin. - Naizvozvo, kunyangwe isu tichida kuzvinzwisisa isu kana mumwe, kuti tifambise basa iri, tinoedza kusiyanisa pakati pezvinhu zvega zvehurongwa, tozozvibatanidza mu "Ini ndiri munhu ...".
Neyo "yekutanga" nzira, iyo chaiyo yekuona inowedzera. Chii chinonyanya kubatsira kuziva: kuti “iye munhu wakadaro” kana kuti “anoita basa rakanaka, asi maitiro aanoita nevamwe haandikodzeri”? Munhu mumwe cheteyo anozviratidza nenzira dzakasiyana-siyana zvichienderana nemamiriro ezvinhu, mhoteredzo, kugara zvakanaka kwake mupfungwa nomumuviri.
Sezvo mutemo, subpersonalities inomuka senzira yekudzivirira yepfungwa. Semuyenzaniso, mwana ari munjodzi anokurira mumhuri ine hutongi hwejekerere anogona kukudziridza hunhu hwe “Obediant Baby”. Achamubatsira kudzivisa hasha dzevabereki vake uye kuwana rudo uye kutarisirwa. Uye iyo yakapesana subpersonality, iyo "Mupanduki", ichadzvinyirirwa: kunyangwe achikura, acharamba achitevera tsika yekudzoreredza mafungiro ake emukati uye kuratidza kutevedzera, kunyangwe kana zvingave zvakakosha kuti aite zvakasiyana.
Kudzvinyirirwa kweimwe yevadiki kunogadzira kusawirirana kwemukati uye kunopedza simba redu. Ndicho chikonzero nei zvakakosha kuunza mumvuri (rambwa) subpersonalities muchiedza, anosimbisa Nikita Erin.
Ngatiti mukadzi webhizinesi ane akadzvinyirirwa subpersonality "Amai". Matanho matatu achabatsira kuburitsa pachena.
1. Ongororo uye tsananguro yemaitiro. “Kana ndichida kuva amai, ndichaedza kufunga uye kuita saamai.”
2. Kunzwisisa. “Kuva amai kunorevei kwandiri? Ndoita sei kuti ave iye?
3. Kusiyanisa. "Ndinotamba mabasa mangani akasiyana?"
Kana subpersonality ichidzingirwa zvakadzika mukusaziva, njodzi inowedzera kuti kana pakaitika dambudziko ichauya pamberi uye ichikonzera kuparadzwa kwakakomba muhupenyu hwedu. Asi kana tikabvuma hunhu hwedu hwese, kunyangwe iwo mumvuri, njodzi inoderera.
Runyararo hurukuro
Zvikamu zvakasiana zvohunhu hwedu hazvigari mutsinhirano nguva dzose. Kazhinji pane kunetsana kwemukati pakati peMubereki wedu neMwana: idzi mbiri dzezvitatu zvekutanga zve "Ini" zvakatsanangurwa nenyanzvi yepfungwa Eric Berne (ona bhokisi riri papeji rinotevera).
"Ngatitii mumwe munhu anobva kuChild state anoda kuva mutambi, uye kubva kuParent state ane chokwadi chokuti basa rakanakisisa munyika yose ndichiremba," anodaro nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Anna Belyaeva. – Uye zvino anoshanda sachiremba uye haanzwi kugutsikana. Muchiitiko ichi, basa repfungwa naye rine chinangwa chekugadzirisa kusawirirana uku nekusimbisa hurumende yeVakuru, iyo inosanganisira kukwanisa kwekuongorora kusingasaruri uye kuita sarudzo. Nekuda kweizvozvo, kune kuwedzera kwekuziva: mutengi anotanga kuona mikana yekuti angaita sei zvaanoda. Uye zvingasarudzwa zvingave zvakasiyana.
Mumwe achanyoresa zvidzidzo zvewaltz munguva yake yakasununguka, mumwe wacho achawana mukana wekuwana mari nekutamba uye kuchinja basa rake. Uye wechitatu achanzwisisa kuti kurota uku kwehuduku kwakatorasikirwa nekukosha kwayo.
Mubasa re psychotherapeutic, mutengi anodzidza kuzvimiririra kunzwisisa Mwana wake wemukati, kumudzikamisa, kumutsigira, kumupa mvumo. Iva Mubereki wako Anochengeta uye dzikisa vhoriyamu paCritical Parent yako. Sviridzira Mukuru wako, zvitore iwe pachako nehupenyu hwako.
Subpersonalities inogona kunzwisiswa kwete chete senyika dze "Ini" yedu, asiwo semabasa emagariro. Uye vanogona kurwisana zvakare! Nokudaro, basa romudzimai wemba rinowanzopesana nerenyanzvi inobudirira. Uye kusarudza mumwe chete wavo dzimwe nguva zvinoreva kusanzwa semunhu anonyatso ziva. Kana kuti imwe yevadiki inogona kukanganisa sarudzo yakaitwa nemumwe, sezvakaitika kuna Antonina ane makore makumi matatu.
“Ndakaramba kukwidziridzwa pabasa nekuti ndaifanira kupedza nguva yakawanda ndiri kubasa, uye ndaida kuona kuti vana vedu vanokura sei,” anodaro. - Asi nokukurumidza pfungwa yakauya kwandiri kuti ndakanga ndichiparadza tarenda rangu, uye ndakanzwa kuzvidemba, kunyange zvazvo ndakanga ndisiri kuzochinja chinhu. Ndakabva ndaona kuti pfungwa idzi dzaiyeuchidza amai vangu kuti: “Mukadzi haakwanisi kuzvibayira kumhuri!” Hameno kuti chokwadi amai vangu havana kana kundishora. Ndakataura navo, uye ipapo “amai vangu vomukati” vakandisiya ndiri ndoga.
Ndiani ndiani
Nyaya imwe neimwe yakasiyana, uye kukakavara kwakasiyana kunovanda shure kwekunzwa kusagutsikana. "Kudzidza kwenyika dzakasiyana-siyana dze"Ini" kana subpersonalities kunobatsira mutengi kuwana nekugadzirisa kupesana kwavo kwemukati mune ramangwana," Anna Belyaeva ane chokwadi.
Kuti tione kuti ndezvipi zvidiki zvatinazvo, runyoro rwehunhu, zvese zvakanaka nezvakaipa, zvichabatsira. Semuyenzaniso: Mutsa, Mushandi, Mufinhi, Mumiriri… Bvunza chimwe nechimwe chezvitunha izvi: wave nenguva yakadii uchirarama mupfungwa dzangu? Mumamiriro ezvinhu api aunowanzoonekwa? Chinangwa chako chakanaka ndechei (chii chakanaka chauri kundiitira)?
Edza kunzwisisa kuti simba rinobudiswa sei panguva yekuita kweunhu huno, teerera kune manzwiro emuviri. Zvichida mamwe ma subpersonalities akawandisa? Zvinokufanira here? Aya ma subpersonalities ndiwo musimboti wehunhu hwako.
Ngatienderere mberi kune vadzivisi vavo. Nyora pasi unhu hwakapesana hwaungave nahwo. Semuenzaniso, subpersonality Dobryak inogona kunge inopesana neZlyuka kana Egoist. Rangarira kana anopikisa subpersonalities akaonekwa mune chero mamiriro? Zvakanga zvaita sei? Zvingabatsira here kana vakazviratidza kakawanda?
Aya ndiwo maitiro ako akarambwa. Vabvunze mibvunzo yakafanana neyakare. Iwe zvechokwadi uchawana zvisingatarisirwi zvishuwo mukati mako, pamwe nehunyanzvi hutsva.
Invisible
Chikamu chechitatu chakavanzika subpersonalities, kuvapo kwatisingazive. Kuti uzviwane, nyora pasi zita rechidhori chako - munhu chaiye kana munhu ane mukurumbira. Nyora unhu hwaunoyemura. Kutanga mumunhu wechitatu: “Anotaura zvaanofunga zvakanaka.” Zvadaro dzokorora mumunhu wekutanga: "Ndinozvitaura zvakanaka." Tinewo matarenda atinoyemura mune vamwe, anongoita kushoma. Zvichida vanofanira kuvandudzwa?
Wobva wanyora zita remunhu anokusvota, nyora hunhu hwake hunokonzeresa kuti usanyanya kugumbuka. Izvi ndizvo zvakavanzwa kukanganisa kwako. Unovenga unyengeri here? Ongorora mamiriro ezvinhu apo waifanira kuva nounyengeri, kunyange zvishoma. Chii chaiva chikonzero cheizvi? Uye yeuka: hapana munhu akakwana.
Izvo hazvionekwe kubva kunze kuti subpersonalities yedu inopindirana sei. Asi hukama huri pakati pavo hunokanganisa kuzviremekedza uye kugara zvakanaka, kuita basa nehunyanzvi uye mari, ushamwari nerudo… Nekusvika pakuvaziva zviri nani uye nekuvabatsira kuwana mutauro wakafanana, tinodzidza kurarama mukuwirirana nesu pachedu.
Mwana, Mukuru, Mubereki
The American psychoanalyst Eric Berne, uyo akaisa nheyo dzekuongorora kwekutengeserana, akacherechedza zvitatu zvakakosha izvo mumwe nemumwe wedu anazvo:
- Mwana ihurumende inotibvumira kuenderana nemitemo, kupusa, kutamba, kutaura zvakasununguka, asiwo kunochengetedza kushungurudza kwehuduku, zvisarudzo zvinoparadza pamusoro pedu, vamwe uye hupenyu;
- Mubereki - iyi nyika inotibvumira kuzvitarisira isu nevamwe, kudzora maitiro edu, kutevera mitemo yakagadzwa. Kubva muchimiro chimwe chete ichi, tinozvitsoropodza isu nevamwe uye toshandisa kunyanyisa kutonga pazvinhu zvese zviri munyika;
- Munhu mukuru - nyika inokubvumira kuti uite kubva kune "pano uye ikozvino"; inofunga nezvekuita uye maitiro eMwana neMubereki, mamiriro ezvinhu aripo, ruzivo rwake uye anosarudza maitiro ekuita mune imwe mamiriro ezvinhu.
Verenga zvakawanda mubhuku: Eric Berne "Mitambo Vanhu Vanotamba" (Eksmo, 2017).
1 H. Stone, S. Winkelman “Kuzvigamuchira Pachedu” (Eksmo, 2003).