Mukati
Kune vakawanda uye vakawanda vasina single pakati pedu. Asi izvi hazvirevi kuti vaya vakasarudza kusurukirwa kana kuti kutsungirira vakasiya rudo. Munguva yekuzvimiririra, vasina uye mhuri, introverts uye extroverts, muhuduku hwavo uye mukukura, vachiri kurota nezvake. Asi kuwana rudo kwakaoma. Sei?
Zvingaita sekuti isu tine mukana wese wekutsvaga avo vanotifarira: nzvimbo dzekufambidzana, masocial network uye nharembozha dzakagadzirira kupa chero munhu mukana uye nekuvimbisa kukurumidza kuwana mudiwa kune ese kuravira. Asi isu tichiri kuona zvichinetsa kuwana rudo rwedu, kubatana uye kugara tese.
kukosha kwepamusoro
Kana nyanzvi dzezvemagariro evanhu dzichifanira kutendwa, kufunganya kwatinofunga nako nezverudo rukuru kunoruramiswa zvachose. Kunzwa kworudo hakusati kwambopiwa ukoshi hwakadaro. Iri pahwaro hwehukama hwedu hwemagariro, inonyanya kuchengetedza nzanga: mushure mezvose, irwo rudo runoumba nekuparadza vakaroorana, uye naizvozvo mhuri nemhuri.
Nguva dzose ine migumisiro yakakomba. Mumwe nemumwe wedu anonzwa kuti magumo edu achatemwa nemhando yehukama hwerudo hwatinofanira kurarama. “Ndinofanira kusangana nomurume anondida uye wandichada kuti ndigare naye uye pakupedzisira ndive amai,” vanopokana kudaro vane makore 35 okukura. "Uye kana ndikasadanana naye, ndicharambana," vazhinji veavo vagara muwanano vari mukukurumidza kujekesa ...
Vazhinji vedu tinonzwa “zvisina kunaka” uye hatiwane simba rekusarudza pahukama.
Chiyero chetarisiro yedu maererano nehukama hwerudo chakakwira. Takatarisana nezvikumbiro zvakawandisa izvo vangango roorana navo vanoita, vazhinji vedu tinonzwa "tisina kunaka" uye hatiwani simba rekusarudza pahukama. Uye zvibvumirano zvisingadzivisiki muhukama hwevanhu vaviri vane rudo zvinovhiringidza maximalists vanobvumirana chete parudo rwakanaka.
Vechidukuwo, havana kunzvenga funganyo yavose. Zvechokwadi, kuzarura rudo pazera rino kune ngozi: pane mukana mukuru wekuti isu hatizodiwi mukudzoka, uye vechidiki vanonyanya kunetseka uye vanotambura. Asi nhasi, kutya kwavo kwawedzera kakawanda. “Vanoda rudo rworudo, somupurogiramu dzeTV,” anodaro mumwe chiremba wepfungwa Patrice Huer, “uye panguva imwe chete vachizvigadzirira nokuda kwevatano vachibatsirwa nemafirimu ezvinonyadzisira.”
Kurwisana kwekufarira
Kupokanidzana kworudzi urwu kunotidzivisa kutera kuzvishuvo zvorudo. Tinorota takazvimiririra uye tichisunga pfumo nemumwe munhu panguva imwe chete, tichigara pamwe chete uye "tichifamba toga". Tinoisa ukoshi hwakakwirira zvikuru kuvaroorani nemhuri, tichivarangarira semanyuko esimba nechengeteko, uye panguva imwe cheteyo tichikudza rusununguko rwomunhu oga.
Tinoda kurarama inoshamisa, yakasarudzika nyaya yerudo tichiramba takatarisa pachedu nekukura kwedu pachedu. Zvichakadaro, kana tichida kubata hupenyu hwedu hwerudo nechivimbo sezvatakajaira kuronga nekuvaka basa, ipapo kuzvikanganwa, chishuwo chekuzvipira kune manzwiro edu uye mamwe mafambiro emweya anoumba musimboti werudo zvichave zviri pasi pe. kufungirana kwedu.
Patinonyanya kukoshesa kuzadzisa zvatinoda pachedu, zvinotonyanya kutiomera kuti tizvipire.
Nokudaro, tinoda zvikuru kunzwa kudhakwa kwerudo, kusara, mumwe nomumwe kune chikamu chedu, akanyura zvachose mukuvaka mararamiro edu emagariro, unyanzvi uye zvemari. Asi sei kunyura nemusoro mudziva rekuda, kana kungwarira kwakanyanya, kurangwa uye kutonga kunodiwa kwatiri mune dzimwe nzvimbo? Nekuda kweizvozvo, isu hatingotyi chete kuita mari isingabatsiri mune vakaroora, asi zvakare kutarisira migove kubva kumubatanidzwa werudo.
Kutya kurasikirwa iwe pachako
"Munguva yedu, kupfuura nakare kose, rudo runokosha pakuzviziva, uye panguva imwe chete hazvibviri chaizvo nokuti muukama hworudo hatisi kutsvaga imwe, asi kuzviziva," anotsanangura kudaro psychoanalyst Umberto Galimberti.
Kunyanya kujaira kukoshesa kugutsikana kwezvido zvedu, zvakanyanya kuoma kuti tipe. Uye saka isu tinozvikudza tichitwasanudza mapendekete edu uye tinozivisa kuti hunhu hwedu, yedu «Ini» yakakosha kupfuura rudo uye mhuri. Kana tichifanira kurega chimwe chinhu, ticharega rudo. Asi isu hatina kuzvarwa munyika isu pachedu, tinova ivo. Musangano wega wega, chiitiko chese chinoumba chiitiko chedu chakasiyana. Kupenya kwechiitiko, ndiko kudzika kwetsvakiridzo yacho. Uye mupfungwa iyi, zvishoma zvingaenzaniswa norudo.
Hunhu hwedu hunoratidzika kuva hunokosha kupfuura rudo nemhuri. Kana isu tichifanira kubayira chimwe chinhu, saka tinopa rudo
"Rudo kuvhiringidza iwe pachako, nekuti mumwe munhu anoyambuka nzira yedu," Umberto Galimberti anopindura. - Panjodzi yedu uye panjodzi, anokwanisa kuputsa rusununguko rwedu, kushandura hunhu hwedu, kuparadza nzira dzese dzekudzivirira. Asi dai pasina kuchinja uku kunondityora, kundikuvadza, kundiisa pangozi, zvino ndaizobvumira sei mumwe kudarika nzira yangu - iye, iye oga anogona kundibvumira kupfuura ini?
Usarasikirwa iwe pachako, asi enda kupfuura iwe pachako. Kuramba ari iye, asi atosiyana - pane imwe nhanho muhupenyu.
Hondo yevarume
Asi matambudziko ose aya, akawedzerwa munguva yedu, haagoni kuenzaniswa nekuzvidya mwoyo kukuru kunofambidzana nekukwezva kwevarume nevakadzi kune mumwe nemumwe kubva kare. Kutya uku kunozvarwa nemakwikwi asingazive.
Kukwikwidzana kwechinyakare kwakadzika midzi mukatikati merudo. Icho chikamu chakafukidzwa nhasi nekuenzana kwevanhu, asi kukwikwidzana kwekare kuchiri kuzvisimbisa, kunyanya kune vakaroorana vane hukama hurefu. Uye ese akawanda akaturikidzana ebudiriro anotonga hupenyu hwedu haakwanise kuvanza kutya kweumwe neumwe wedu pamberi peumwe munhu.
Muhupenyu hwezuva nezuva, zvinozviratidza mukuti vakadzi vanotya kuva vanovimba zvakare, kuwira mukuzviisa pasi pemurume, kana kutambudzwa nemhosva kana vachida kusiya. Varume, kune rumwe rutivi, vanoona kuti mamiriro ezvinhu muvakaroorana ari kuva asingadzoreki, kuti havagoni kukwikwidzana nevasikana vavo, uye vanova vasingaitiri hanya pedyo navo.
Kuti uwane rudo rwako, dzimwe nguva zvakakwana kuti usiye nzvimbo yekudzivirira.
“Uko varume vaiwanzovanza rutyo rwavo seri kwokuzvidza, kusava nehanya uye utsinye, nhasi vakawanda vavo vanosarudza kutiza,” anodaro murapi wemhuri Catherine Serrurier. "Izvi hazvisi hazvo kusiya mhuri, asi kutiza kwehunhu kubva pavanenge vasingachadi kuita hukama, "vasiye"."
Kushaya ruzivo rwemumwe sechikonzero chekutya? Iyi inyaya yekare, kwete chete mune geopolitics, asiwo murudo. Kutya kunowedzera kusaziva iwe pachako, zvishuwo zvakadzika zvemunhu uye kupesana kwemukati. Kuti uwane rudo rwako, dzimwe nguva zvakakwana kurega nzvimbo yekudzivirira, kunzwa chido chekudzidza zvinhu zvitsva uye kudzidza kuvimbana. Kuvimbana ndiko kunoumba hwaro hwevaviri.
Kutanga kusingafungidziriki
Asi tinoziva sei kuti uyo watakarongerwa naye anoenderana nesu? Zvinoita here kuziva kunzwa kukuru? Iko hakuna mabikirwo uye mitemo, asi kune nyaya dzinokurudzira idzo munhu wese anoenda kunotsvaga rudo anoda zvakanyanya.
“Ndakasangana nomurume wangu mubhazi,” anoyeuka kudaro Laura, ane makore 30.— Kakawanda ndinonyara kutaura nevanhu vandisingazivi, kugara mumahedhifoni, kutarira nepahwindo, kana kuti kubasa. Muchidimbu, ndinogadzira rusvingo rwakandipoteredza. Asi akagara pedyo neni, uye neimwe nzira zvakaitika kuti takagara tichikurukura nzira refu kusvika pamba.
Ini handingati rudo pakutanga pakuona, pane kudaro, pakanga paine pfungwa yakasimba yekufanorongerwa, asi nenzira yakanaka. Mafungiro angu akandiudza kuti munhu uyu aizova chikamu chakakosha chehupenyu hwangu, kuti aizova ... zvakanaka, hongu, iyeye.