Mukati
Murayiro weBhaibheri unoti: “Ida muvakidzani wako sezvaunozviita.” Asi zvinokwanisika here kuvaka hukama hunofadza nemunhu asingakwanisi kukunda matambudziko ehuduku uye asina kudzidza kuda, kuonga uye kuremekedza kunyange iye pachake? Sei kudanana nemunhu asingazvitarisi kuzere nekuparara uye kutsemuka?
Vamwe vedu, kunyanya avo vane tsitsi dzakanyanya uye "savior syndrome", zvinoita sekunge vanhu vakadai ndivo zvinhu zvakanakisa zverudo uye unyoro husina kushandiswa, uye zviri pamwe navo. inogona kuvaka hukama hurefu hwakagadzikana. hukama hwakavakirwa pakutenda nekutsigirana. Asi hazvisi nguva dzose. Uye ndicho chikonzero:
1. Mudiwa asingagutsikani naye angaedza kuzadza nzvimbo yacho nerubatsiro rwako.
Zvakanaka pakutanga - tinoda kudiwa - asi kana zvikapfuura, zvinogona kutsamira pauri zvakanyanya. Iwe uchatanga kunzwa usingazivi kuti haakukoshesi iwe semunhu, asi zvaunogona kumuitira: kunyaradza, kusimudza kuzviremekedza, kumupoteredza nekunyaradza.
2. Zvakaoma kutaura nemunhu akadaro.
Sezvo mutemo, haanzwisisi mazwi uye anoona chakavanzika chinoreva chakaipa mavari, nokuti anoronga kusada kwake kwauri. Iwe unofanirwa kunyatso tarisa zvese zvaunotaura, kana kungozvibvisa mukati mako, nekuti chero kutaurirana kunoguma kwave kushungurudza uye kuseka.
Mumwe anoramba rubatsiro paanenge achida
Somuenzaniso, wawakaroorana naye angasaona kubvumirwa zvakanaka, zvichida nokuramba kurumbidzwa kwacho (“Aiwa, hapana chandinonzwisisa nezvazvo”) kana kuti kurerutsa (“Panguva ino ndazviita, asi handina chokwadi chokuti ndichabudirira. zvakare"). Zvinoitika kuti anoendesa zvachose hurukuro kune imwe nyaya ("Hongu, asi tarisa kuti iwe unozviita zviri nani sei!").
3. Haakuchengeti.
Mudiwa wacho anoramba kubatsirwa paanenge achida. Anganzwa asingakodzeri kutarisirwa uye anozviona semutoro mune dzimwe nzvimbo dzehukama. A gangaidzo, asi panguva imwe cheteyo, anokunetsa chaizvo nezvikumbiro zvezvimwe zvikonzero. Anokumbira rubatsiro, iwe unoedza kubatsira, uye anoramba rubatsiro urwu. Somugumisiro, unonzwa uine mhosva, wakaderera muukama.
4. Unoda kubatsira mumwe wako asi uchinzwa usina simba
Kana mudiwa achizvinyadzisa uye achizviparadza, zvinoshanduka kuva chitubu chemarwadzo chisingaperi kwauri. Iwe unopedza nguva uye simba kufema hupenyu hutsva mumumwe wako, asi iye haadi kuziva nezvazvo uye anoramba achizvirova-flagelate.
Chii chaunofanira kuita kana mudiwa wacho achigara asingagutsikani naye uye asingafungi kuchinja?
Kana hukama hwako hwave huchienderera mberi kwekanguva, iwe unogona kunge uri munhu ane hanya uye ane moyo murefu, icho chinhu chakanaka kwazvo pachako. Asi haufaniri kukanganwa zvaunoda iwe pachako.
Unogona kuwana kugutsikana nekubatsira mumwe wako. Kana zvimiro zvake zvisinganyanyi kukunetsa uye iwe unozviona sezvakanaka zvisinganzwisisike, quirk, hapana chekunetseka nazvo. Asi kana iwe uchinzwa kuti uri kuzvipira zvakanyanya kune mumwe wako, kuti kuedza kwako kuri kuenda semvura mujecha, uye zvaunoda iwe zvino zvinogara zviri kumashure, chimwe chinhu chinoda kuchinja.
Chokutanga pane zvose, zvakakodzera kutanga nhaurirano uye kutaura pamusoro pekunetseka kwako. Chese chaunoita, haufanire kubvumira zvaunoda kuti zviregeredzwe uye unzwe uine mhosva nekutadza kumuburitsa kunze kwedhaka. Hazvinei kuti une hanya naye zvakadii, hauna mhosva kwaari uye nehupenyu hwake.
Nezve munyori: Mark White ndiye dhipatimendi reDhipatimendi rePhilosofi paStaten Island College (USA), uye munyori.