Vanhu vanosangana, vanowira murudo uye pane imwe nguva vanosarudza kugara pamwe chete. Psychotherapist Christine Northam, murume nemukadzi vechidiki, Rose naSam, naJean Harner, munyori weKumba Kwakachena, Kwakachena Mwoyo, vanotaura nezve nzira yekurerutsa maitiro ekujairana.
Kugara pamwe chete nemumwe hausi mufaro chete wekugoverana kudya kwemanheru, kutarisa zviratidzo zveTV uye zvepabonde nguva dzose. Uku ndiko kudikanwa kwekugara uchigovera mubhedha uye nzvimbo yefurati nemumwe munhu. Uye ine maitiro mazhinji uye maficha ausina kumboziva nezvayo kare.
Christine Northam ane chokwadi chekuti usati wakurukura nezvekugarisana nemumwe wako, iwe unofanirwa kuzvipindura nekutendeseka mubvunzo wekuti nei uchifanira kutora danho iri.
“Ichi chisungo chakakura chinosanganisira kuzvinyima zita rezvido zvemumwe munhu, saka zvakakosha kuti muone kuti unoda here kugara nemunhu uyu kwemakore akawanda. Ungangove wakabatwa nemirangariro yako,” anotsanangura kudaro. - Kazhinji munhu mumwe chete muvakaroorana akagadzirira hukama hwakakomba, uye wechipiri unokweretesa kukunyengetedza. Izvo zvinodikanwa kuti vaviri vakaroorana vanoda izvi uye vaone kukomba kwedanho rakadaro. Kurukurai nezvese zvehupenyu hweramangwana renyu pamwe chete nemudiwa wenyu.”
Alice, 24, naPhilip, 27, vakadanana kwerinenge gore uye vakatamira pamwe chete gore nehafu rapfuura.
"Philip aigumisa chibvumirano chekurenda imba, uye takafunga: wadii kuedza kugara tese? Taisaziva zvataitarisira kubva mukurarama pamwe chete. Asi kana ukasazviisa pangozi, kushamwaridzana hakuzokura,” anodaro Alice.
Iye zvino vechidiki "vakatoshandiswa". Vanorenda dzimba pamwe chete uye vanoronga kutenga imba mumakore mashoma, asi pakutanga, hazvisi zvese zvaive mushe.
Usati waita sarudzo yekugara pamwe chete, zvakakosha kuti uwane mhando yeunhu hwemudiwa, kumushanyira, kuona mararamiro aanoita.
“Pekutanga ndakagumburwa naPhilip nekuti aisada kuzvichenura. Akakurira pakati pevarume, uye ndakakurira pakati pevakadzi, uye taifanira kudzidza zvakawanda kubva kune mumwe nemumwe, "anoyeuka kudaro Alice. Philip anobvuma kuti aifanira kuwedzera kurongeka, uye musikana wake aifanira kubvuma kuti mumba maizova asina kuchena.
Jean Harner ane chokwadi: asati aita chisarudzo pamusoro pekugara pamwe chete, zvakakosha kubhadhara kune unhu hwemhando yemumwe wako. Mushanyire, uone mararamiro ake. "Kana iwe uchinzwa kusagadzikana nekuda kwemhirizhonga yakakupoteredza, kana, zvakasiyana, unotya kudonhedza crumb pauriri hwakachena, unofanirwa kufunga nezvazvo. Tsika nezvinotendwa nevanhu vakuru zvakaoma kuchinja. Edzai kutaurirana zvibvumirano izvo mumwe nemumwe wenyu anoda kuita. Kurukurai zvido zveumwe neumwe zvisati zvaitika.
Christine Northam anokarakadza kuti vakaroorana vari kuronga upenyu pamwe chete vanobvumirana pamusoro pezvavachaita kana miitiro, zvinodikanwa kana kuti zvitendero zvomumwe wavo zvikava chigumbuso.
“Kana kusawirirana kwemumba kuchiri kuitika, edza kusapana mhosva panguva ino. Usati wakurukura dambudziko, unoda "kutonhora" zvishoma. Kana hasha dzaserera chete, unogona kugara pasi patafura yekutaurirana kuti uteerere maonero emumwe nemumwe, "anopa zano uye anokoka vanobatana kuti vataure nezve manzwiro avo uye kufarira maonero emumwe wake:" Ndakashungurudzika pandakaona gomo. yembatya dzakasviba pasi. Munofunga kuti chimwe chinhu chingaitwa here kuti izvi zvisaitike zvakare?
Nekufamba kwenguva, Alice naPhilip vakabvumirana kuti mumwe nemumwe aizova nenzvimbo yake yekurara uye patafura yekudyira. Izvi zvakabvisa kumwe kusawirirana pakati pavo.
Kugara pamwe chete kunounza hukama kune hutsva, kuwedzera kuvimbana. Uye hukama ihwohwo hwakakodzera kushanda pairi.
Kunobva: Independent.