PSYchology

Ndeipi mibvunzo yaunofanira kuzvibvunza iwe, ndeapi mapepa ekubhadhara zvakanyanya, chii chaunofanira kutarisira usati waronga mwana? Psychotherapists uye mhuri psychologists vanotaura.

Mangwana? Vhiki rinotevera? Mwedzi mitanhatu gare gare? Kana kuti pamwe izvozvi? Tinopinda nemumibvunzo iri mupfungwa dzedu toikurukura nemumwe wedu, tichitarisira kuti izvi zvichaunza kujeka. Veukama vanowedzera huni mumoto nezano: "Une zvese, saka wakamirirei?" Kune rimwe divi, "iwe uchiri mudiki, sei uchikurumidza."

Pane iyo "yakakodzera" nguva iyo hupenyu hwako hunofamba newachi, iwe uzere nesimba, unodiwa uye wakagadzirira kuzadza? Kune vamwe, izvi zvinoreva kungozviteerera. Mumwe munhu, pane zvinopesana, haavimbi nemanzwiro uye anotsvaka kufunga kuburikidza nechinhu chiduku chose. Uye nyanzvi dzinoti chii?

Sei zvino? Ndiri kuita izvi nekuda kwezvikonzero "zvine musoro" here?

Murapi wemhuri Helen Lefkowitz anoratidza kutanga kubva pamubvunzo mukuru: urikunzwa zvakanaka izvozvi? Unogutsikana nezvauri kuita here? Unogona here kutaura kuti iwe (muzhinji) unofarira hupenyu hwako?

“Yeuka kuti kuva mubereki muedzo, uye kuzvidemba kwose nokusava nechokwadi zviri kupfungaira mumweya wako zvinogona kumuka nesimba idzva,” anonyevera kudaro. — Zvinotonyanya kuipa kana mukadzi achida kuita mwana nekuda kwezvikonzero zvisiri izvo. Somuenzaniso, akanga asingakwanisi kuita basa, ari kufinhwa noupenyu. Zvakatoipisisa, vamwe vakadzi vanotendeukira kukuva napamuviri sechiito chokupedzisira chokununura roorano yakakundikana.”

Chero nzira, zvichave nyore kwauri kugadzirira kuzvipira kune mumwe munhu kana iwe pachako uchifara iwe pachako, hupenyu hwako, uye mumwe wako. “Sokutaura kwakaita mumwe mutengi wangu, “Ndinoda kuzviona ndimene uye wandinoda zvikuru mumwana wedu somubatanidzwa wedu tose,” anodaro mupi zano wemhuri Carol Lieber Wilkins.

Zvinokosha kuti mukwanyina anonzwa ane chivimbo zvikuru azive kuteerera kune mumwe uye anonzwira tsitsi kune zvinomunetsa.

Wagadzirira here kune zvibvumirano zvichauya pamwe chete nekuva mubereki uye kunyange zvisati zvaitika? "Unoda here kutengesa rusununguko uye kuzvimiririra kuronga uye chimiro? Kana waimbova munhu ari nyore kuenda, wagadzirira kugadzikana nebasa remusha? anodaro Carol Wilkins. “Kunyange zvazvo kurongera mwana kuchiwanzobatanidza kufungidzira pamusoro pouduku hwako umene huri kure, yeuka kuti iyi inhanho itsvawo yako somukuru.”

Mumwe wangu agadzirira here izvi?

Dzimwe nguva kana imwe yevaviri ichirova gasi zvishoma uye imwe ichirova zvishoma, vanogona kusvika pamwero unoshanda kune vese. “Zvakakosha kuti mukwanyina anonzwa ane chivimbo zvikuru azive kuteerera kune mumwe uye anonzwira tsitsi kune zvinomunetsa nezvaanotaura,” anodaro chiremba wepfungwa Rosalyn Blogier. "Dzimwe nguva zvinobatsira kutaura neshamwari dzepedyo dzatova nevana kuti vaone kuti vakagadzirisa sei nyaya - sekuronga zvirongwa zvavo."

“Varoorani vandinonyanya kunetseka nezvavo ndevaya vakanga vasinganyatsotauri nezvokuva nevana vasati varoorana uye vakazongoerekana vaona kuti mumwe aida kuva mubereki mumwe wacho asingadi,” anodaro Blogier.

Kana iwe uchiziva kuti mumwe wako anoda mwana asi asati anyatsogadzirira, zvakakosha kuziva kuti chii chinomudzivisa. Zvichida anotya kusatarisana nemutoro wemutoro: kana ukaronga kutora zororo revabereki, mutoro wose wekutsigira mhuri unogona kuwira paari. Kana kuti zvimwe akanga ane ukama hwakaoma nababa vake chaivo uye achadzokorora zvikanganiso zvake.

Ziva kuti zvingave zvisina kujairika kuti mumwe wako agoverane rudo rwake, rudo uye hanya nemwana. Rimwe nerimwe rematambudziko aya rinogona kuva chiitiko chekukurukurirana pachena. Kana iwe uchiona zvichidikanwa, bata murapi waunoziva kana vaviri vanorapa boka. Usanyara nekupokana kwako, asi usazviwedzerewo. Yeuka: apo ramangwana rinotora chimiro, rinova rinooneka uye rinoonekwa, kutya kunoenda. Uye inotsiviwa nekariro.

Pane chikonzero chipi nechipi chokunonoka here?

Vamwe vakaroorana vangave vachinetseka nezvemari kana kuti basa. Iwe unogona kunge uchibvunza mibvunzo yakadai sekuti "Tinofanira kumirira kusvika tatenga imba togara pasi?" Kana kuti zvingaita sezvinoshamisa kwauri: “Zvichida tinofanira kumirira kusvikira ndatanga kudzidzisa, ipapo ndichava nenguva yakawanda nesimba zvokugovera kumwana.” Kana kuti, “Pamwe tinofanira kumirira kusvikira tachengeta mari yakakwana kuti ndive nenguva yakawanda nesimba.”

Pane rumwe rutivi, vakaroorana vakawanda vanoitira hanya nenzira inonzwisisika pamusoro pokubereka kwavo. Iwe unogona kunge wakaona shamwari dzako kana vaunoziva vachiedza kubata pamuviri kwemakore, vachipfuura nekusingaperi kurapwa kwembereko, uye vachichema kuti sei vasina kuzvitarisira nekukurumidza.

Nehurombo, vamwe vanofuratira mubvunzo mukuru unofanirwa kutariswa kune: hukama hwedu hwakagadzirira izvi here? Sarudzo yakanakisa ndeye apo vaviri vanopa imwe nguva pamwe chete kuti vaedze manzwiro avo kuitira kuti vagone kuchinjira kuvabereki vasinganzwe kuti chimwe chikamu chakakosha chehukama hwavo chiri kubayirwa.

Fungidzira kuti zvingave zvakadii kugovera nguva yako yega kwete chete nemumwe wako, asiwo nemumwe munhu

Sezvo kwakawanda kwokurera kwedu mubereki kuri nyore, kunobetsera, kana kusina madikanwa, kunzwa kuti ukama hwacho hune hwaro hwakasimba.

Fungidzira kuti zvingave sei kugovera nguva yako yega kwete chete nemumwe wako, asiwo nemumwe munhu. Uye kwete chete nemunhu - nemumwe munhu anoda kutariswa kwako nguva dzese.

Kana hukama hwenyu hukavhiringidzwa mukukakavadzana pamusoro pe "kururamisira" uye "kugoverana kwebasa", iwe uchiri kufanira kushanda pazviri zvishoma. Funga nezveizvi: kana muchipokana kuti inguva yaani yekuturika mbatya kubva pamushini wekuwachisa kana kutora marara kunoraswa, unogona here kuve "timu" iwe warara husiku hwese uye muchengeti wakadzimwa, uye paunenge uchienda kuvabereki vako unoona kuti hausisina manapukeni.

Unoziva sei kuti uchava mubereki akanaka?

Isu tinorarama munharaunda inoita kuti kuve mubereki uye inoita kuti vakaroorana dzimwe nguva vave nerudo uye vanoda, vanofambira mberi uye vangwarire, vakarongeka uye vavhurike kuedza.

Famba muchitoro chero chipi zvacho chemabhuku uye uchaona masherufu akazara nemabhuku ekurera vana kubva pa "kurera shasha" kusvika ku "maitiro ekuita nepwere anopanduka." Hazvishamisi kuti vadyidzani vanganzwa "vasina kukodzera" kuita basa rakakura kudaro pamberi.

Kubata uye kuberekwa kwemwana nguva dzose "reconnaissance in force". Uye saka, neimwe nzira, haungambofa wakazvigadzirira.

Hapana mumwe wedu anozvarwa akanyatsokodzera kuva mubereki. Somumamwe mabasa api naapi oupenyu, pano tine zvatinogona nezvatisingagoni. Chinhu chakakosha ndechekutendeseka uye kugamuchira manzwiro akasiyana-siyana, kubva pakusanzwisisana, kutsamwa uye kuvhiringidzika kusvika kune mufaro, kudada uye kugutsikana.

Unozvigadzirira sei kune shanduko dzawava kuda kutarisana nadzo?

Kubata uye kuberekwa kwemwana nguva dzose "reconnaissance in force". Uye saka, neimwe nzira, haungambofa wakazvigadzirira. Zvisinei, kana usina chokwadi nezvechimwe chinhu, unofanira kuzvikurukura nemumwe wako. Pamwe chete munofanira kusarudza kuti tandem yenyu ichashanda sei, zvichipiwa zvakasiyana siyana. Kubata pamuviri kunogona kuoma, asi iwe unogona kufunga nezve nzira dzekurerutsira hupenyu hwako.

Iwe unofanirwa kukurukura kana iwe uchida kuudza shamwari nemhuri kuti uri kuedza kuva nemwana, kana kumirira kusvika pakupera kwekutanga trimester, somuenzaniso, nenhau. Nokufamba kwenguva, munofanira kukurukura kuti munokwanisa here kupa mumwe munhu kuti agare pamba nemwana, kana kuti mofanira kushandisa mabasa emureri wevana.

Asi kunyange zvirongwa zvakanyatsorongwa zvinogona kuchinja. Chinhu chikuru apa kunzwisisa uko zvinopihwa uye zvaunofarira zvinopera uye mitemo yakaoma inotanga. Pakupedzisira, unoronga kubatanidza hupenyu hwako nemunhu wausingazivi zvachose. Ndizvo zvinoreva mubereki: kusvetuka kukuru kwekutenda. Asi vanhu vakawanda vanozviita nomufaro.

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