Shamwari yako ine zvikonzero zvayo zvekusanwa doro. Somuenzaniso, ari pakudya, kunwa mishonga inorwisa mabhakitiriya kana kuti ari kurapwa kupindwa muropa. Chokwadika, ichi hachisi chikonzero chokurega kutaura. Asi regai kumurasisa uye muite nharo pamusoro peizvi. Usataure mashoko iwayo paunosangana naye.
Takazoonana neshamwari tave kutodira zvinwiwa mumagirazi. Uye kamwe kamwe mumwe wekambani anoramba kunwa. Sezvo mutemo, mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, zvinoratidzika kwatiri kuti chimwe chinhu chakashata. Kazhinji, isu tinoshamiswa uye tinobhowa teetotaler nemibvunzo. Vamwe vangatogumbuka. Sei?
Tsika dzatakakura nadzo dzinogadzira stereotypes yakagadzikana. Sezvo mutemo, tine purogiramu: pamapati emakambani, mapati uye mazororo emhuri, vanhu vakuru vanonwa. Tinogocha, tinorova magirazi, tose tinodhakwa pamwe chete - mumwe nemumwe nedhigirii rake. Kuramba kunwa kunowanzoonekwa sekutyora tsika.
Vanhu vanoshivirira kune avo vasinganwi nekuda kwezvikonzero zvinoonekwa kana kushambadzirwa. Avo vari kutyaira, vakadzi vane pamuviri, vakapindwa muropa nedoro "mumaziso." Asi kana mudiwa akasataura nesu zvikonzero zvinoita kuti arambe doro, hatiratidzi kuti tinonzwisisa nguva dzose. Kunyange zvazvo, chaizvoizvo, iri ndiro bhizinesi rake uye sarudzo yake pachake.
Zvasara kwatiri kuti tiremekedze sarudzo yake uye tiratidze hunyoro. Pamusoro pazvo, basa redu harisi rekumunyengetedza, asi kuva nenguva yakanaka. Mupfungwa, pasina kunetseka kusingakoshi. Ndeapi mitsara ari nani kuti usataure kune teetotaler papati?
1. "Sei usinganwe?"
Hapana chikonzero chekuda tsananguro yezvikonzero zvekurega doro, uye zvakatonyanya kufungidzira: "Une nhumbu nemukana chero upi zvawo?", "Wakanyorerwa antidepressants?" Kana shamwari ichida kugovera, ipapo anozviita. Zvisizvo, unotyora miganhu yayo. “Kana mumwe munhu akaramba kunwa, edza kusaramba uchifunga nezvechisarudzo ichi uye usabvunza kechipiri kana kuti kechitatu,” inodaro nyanzvi yokushanda kwepfungwa Hanna Wertz.
2. “Ungada here kunwa zvishoma, girazi rimwe chete?”
Kukurudzira pa "girazi chete", "pfuti imwe chete" uye "korogi duku" haigoni kuonekwa sechiratidzo chehukama hwakanaka nemunhu. Pane kudaro, idzvinyiriro uye kumanikidza. Saka iwe, kutanga, unoratidza kusateerera uye kusaremekedza chisarudzo chemutauriri, uye chechipiri, iwe unogona kuva mutadzi wezvinetso zvake. Pashure pezvose, hauzivi chikonzero nei akaramba doro.
3. "Asi kana ukasanwa, hatigone kupemberera!"
Hapana chikonzero chekuyedza kufanofembera kuti shamwari yako ichakwana sei mune yakajairwa fomati yemhemberero nemapati. Zvakakosha kuti munhu asinganwi agare akasununguka munzvimbo inonwiwa vamwe doro. Izvi hazvirevi kuti unofanira kumusarudzira kuti achanzwa zviri nani worega kumukoka kumapati.
“Muite kuti azive chichaitika kuitira kuti agadzirire unyanzvi hwake hwokugonana nahwo,” anopa zano rokupindwa muropa nedoro uye mupi zano wokushandisa zvinodhaka Rachel Schwartz. — Chero ani ari kurapwa akapindwa muropa anogara achitya kuti hukama hwake neshamwari huchachinja. Haadi kunzwa sekunge adzingwa kubva muhupenyu hwake hwekare. "
Edza kugadzira mhepo ine ushamwari uye wakadzikama kugamuchira chisarudzo chemumwe munhu chekusanwa. Uye edza kunyengerera vamwe vese vekambani kuti ichi chingave chinhu chakanaka kuita. Kana izvi zvisingabatsiri, zvino ipa imwe nzira - somuenzaniso, shandisa nguva imwe pane imwe, uye kwete nepati ine ruzha yevanozivana navo.
4. “Munoyeuka here kunwa kwataiita tose? Zvanga zvichinakidza"
Mitsara yakadaro inonzwika sechishuwo chemazuva ekare - asi izvi hazvisi izvo chete. Vanoisawo dzvinyiriro pakuvadziko yemumwe mutengesi ari kunetseka kuti: “Tichava shamwari sekare kana ndikasanwa here?” Zvinoitika kuti pawainwa, kwainakidza, asi iko zvino kwave kusuruvara? Kufungisisa kwakadaro kunosimbisa kutya kwevasinganwi uye kuvaita kuti vasave nechokwadi nechisarudzo chavo.
Mukuwedzera, mazwi aya anoreva kuti iwe unowana mufaro kubva pakusangana neshamwari chete nekuda kwedoro, uye kwete nokuti munhu akanaka. Zvinoita sokuti hunhu hwake hwave husingachanyanyi kunakidza. Tsvaga nzira yekuita kuti shamwari yako izive kuti uchiri kumukoshesa uye zviri pakati pako.
5. “Haa, neniwo ndave nemwedzi ndisina kunwa.”
Zvichida, chokwadi ichi chinotaurirwa nekuda kwekutsigirwa uye kukurudzira: "Tarisa, ndakapfuura neizvi zvakare, zvese zvakanaka neni." Zvinoita senge kuvanza meseji: "Ndinokunzwisisa." Asi iwe unogona kutaura izvi chete kana iwe uchiziva chaizvo chikonzero nei interlocutor wako akaramba doro.
Zvichida hauna kunwa doro kwenguva yakati nemhaka yokuti wakapindwa muropa nokugwinya nezvokudya zvakafanira. Asi kuenzanisa kwakadaro kungaita sokusingakoshi uye kusinganzwisisi kumunhu ari kurwisana nokupindwa muropa kana kuti asinganwi nemhaka yechirwere chakakomba.
6. “Handina kuziva kuti une dambudziko nedoro!”
Zvinoita sekudaro mukutaura uku? Hapana kushorwa kana kuisirwa doro. Asi hazvisi zvauri kutaura chete zvine basa, asi kuti unozviita sei. Kunyange nevavariro dzakanakisisa, somuenzaniso, kana uchida kutsigira shamwari nenzira iyi, toni yakashamiswa zvikuru inogona kumukuvadza.
“Edza kuva nomutsa,” anodaro Rachel Schwartz. "Iwe haudi kuti mumwe munhu anzwe kunge ari munzvimbo inotaridzika, kunge munhu anoita zvekutamba ari munhandare."
Ukuwo, kurumbidza kwakadai sekuti “Ndanga ndisingazivi kuti une dambudziko nedoro” kunowedzera rusarura — zvakafanana kuti uri kuita shamwari isiri kunwa muenzaniso wekufamba wezvinofunga kuti mupindwa muropa anoita sei.
7. runyararo
Mushure mezvose, iwe unofunga usingadi: zvinokwanisika here kutaura chero chinhu kune vasinganwi? Zvichida zviri nyore kuramba wakanyarara uye kufuratira kuchinja kwehupenyu hweshamwari? Zvose hazvina kujeka. Kuputsika kwezvisungo - kupera kwekutaurirana uye misangano yekubatana - zvinokuvadza zvisingasviki zvirevo zvisina kunaka. Kune avo vanoda kuudzwa chinhu mukupindura mutsara wekuti: "Handinwi doro." Uye vamwe vanokoshesa mashoko ekutsigira.
Ziva zvakanakira shamwari yako. Inzwa wakasununguka kubvunza kana uchikwanisa kumutsigira. Refine: "Unoda kutaura nezvazvo?" Mune maonero aRachel Schwartz, mibvunzo yakavhurika senge "Makadii?" zvakanakisisa.
Mushure mezvose, pakupedzisira, chinhu chinonyanya kukosha kushamwari ndechekuti iwe une hanya kuti uri padivi pake, kunyangwe kana muhurukuro yaiperekedzwa neaviri malita edoro, rurimi rwako rwunodedera.