Nzwisisa kubva pahafu-izwi. Svedzesa makona akapinza. Tolerate. Kuona matambudziko muhukama munguva uye edza kugadzirisa zvese pasina kudzvanya pane mumwe wako. Pane zvinhu zvakawanda zvatinoita isu vakadzi nekukasira - nekuti isu "takasikirwa" izvi. Somugumisiro, munhu wose anowanzotambura: isu pachedu, shamwari yedu, hukama. Nei izvi zviri kuitika?
Vanoyeuka mazuva okuzvarwa enhengo dzose dzemhuri, kusanganisira hama dzokunyama dziri kure. Vanoziva nemazita kwete chete shamwari dzevana vese, asiwo vabereki vavo. Ivo vane mutoro wehukama hwehukama hwemhuri - usakanganwa shamwari dzekare, vakoke kuti vashanyire, chengeta tsika dzekudyidzana. Vanotanga hurukuro pamusoro pezvinetso zvehukama uye vanonyengetedza mudiwa kuti aende kune chiremba wepfungwa dzemhuri.
Vanonyora hupenyu hwese hwemhuri - vanotora mifananidzo yemumwe wavo nevana, uye ivo pachavo vanenge vasipo nguva dzose kubva kwavari. Vanoshanda semurapi wemhuri, maneja wemba, murevereri, munyaradzi, cheerleader, uye bhuku rekunyorera risina kuganhurirwa apo mitezo yose yemhuri inogona kudurura mashoko ayo asina nguva yokurangarira.
Sezvaungave wakafungidzira, zvisinganzwisisike "ivo" ndezvechokwadi, vakadzi, uye chimwe nechimwe chezviito izvi ibasa risingaoneki rinogara pamapfudzi avo. Basa rakaoma kutsanangura zvakajeka. Basa, nekuda kwekuti iyo yese yemagariro muchina inoshanda zvakanaka - kubva kumhuri yega yega kuenda kunzanga yese.
Chii chinobatanidzwa mubasa iri? Kusikwa uye kuchengetedza "kunyaradza" uye "mamiriro ekunze mumba", kugara kwakanaka kunyange mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma zvikuru, kutarisira uye kutsigirwa, chido chekugadzirisa makona uye kukanganisa, kuda kushumira zvinodiwa nevamwe uye kuva nehanya nemanzwiro avo - mu zvakazara, izvo chaizvo izvo nzanga inowanzotarisira kubva kuvakadzi.
Akazvarwa ane hanya?
Taifunga kuti vakadzi vakasikirwa kubatsira, kutsigira uye kutarisira. Takadzidza kuti vanhukadzi vane hunhu hwakanyanya uye saka vanogona kunzwisisa zviri nani "manzwiro ako aya" uye vanofarira kutaura nezvawo. Uye kazhinji vanotaura zvakanyanya nezvavo - ivo "vanobvisa uropi." Isu tine chokwadi chekuti vakadzi vanofarira hukama, kukura kwavo uye ramangwana ravo, nepo varume vasingadi uye vasingafarire.
Isu tinotoresa pfungwa yekuti vakadzi vanozvarwa vachiita mabasa mazhinji uye vanokwanisa kuchengeta mazita akareba ezvekuita mumisoro yavo, ivo pachavo nevamwe, nepo varume vachikwanisa kuita-basa rimwe chete uye kutarisa pane zvinonyanya kukosha.
Nekudaro, kana iwe ukachera zvakadzika zvishoma, iwe unogona kuona kuti kusingaperi kutarisira uye hunhu hwekatsi Leopold hausi hunhu hwekuzvarwa hwakasarudzika mumunhukadzi, asi seti yehunyanzvi hunowanikwa kuburikidza nemaitiro ekushamwaridzana kwevakadzi. Vasikana kubva pauduku vanodzidza kuva nemhosva yemanzwiro uye maitiro evamwe.
Nepo vakomana vachitamba mitambo ine simba uye ine simba, kazhinji ine chikamu chehasha nemakwikwi, vasikana vanokurudzirwa kuita zviitiko zvinokudziridza tsitsi, hanya uye kubatana.
Somuenzaniso, "vanasikana-vanaamai" uye mitambo-yekutamba. Vasikana vanorumbidzwa nokuda kwokuva vaenzi vakabatikana, vane hanya nehanzvadzi dzakura navanasikana, nepo vakomana vachikurudzirwa nokuda kwebudiriro dzakasiana chose chose.
Gare gare, vasikana vanodzidziswa kuva nemhosva yemanzwiro evakomana uye kutarisira mamiriro avo emanzwiro - kunzwisisa kuti pigtails inobudiswa kunze kwerudo, kubatsira muvakidzani mudhesiki, kwete kumutsa hasha kana kuchiva nemafambiro avo, kuziva kupi kugara wakanyarara, uye kupi kurumbidza uye kukurudzira, kazhinji - kuva musikana akanaka.
Vari munzira, vakadzi vechidiki vanotsanangurwa kuti nzvimbo yekutaura uye nzvimbo yemanzwiro inzvimbo yevakadzi, isingafadzi zvachose kuvarume. Murume ane stereotypical ndeye taciturn, haanzwisisi kuoma kwezviitiko zvepfungwa, haachemi, haaratidze manzwiro, haazivi kutarisira uye, kazhinji, haisi rudzi rwe "kunyorova kusina simba."
Vakakura vasikana nevakomana vanoramba vachirarama maererano nemaitiro akafanana: anomuchengeta, vana, shamwari, hama uye hupenyu hwemhuri hwemhuri, uye anozvitarisira uye anoisa mari chete muhupenyu hwake. Basa repfungwa revakadzi rinopinda uye "kuzora" mativi ese ehupenyu, zvichiita kuti vagadzikane uye vafadze vamwe. Uye basa iri rine zviso zvemiriyoni.
Chii chinonzi basa remanzwiro?
Ngatitangei nemuenzaniso uri nyore asi unonyatsotaura. MuHukama: Basa Rinoitwa neVakadzi (1978), Pamela Fishman akaongorora zvakarekodhwa ehurukuro dzemazuva ose pakati pevarume nevakadzi ndokusvika pamhedziso dzinonakidza.
Zvakazoitika kuti vaiva vakadzi vakatora basa guru rekuchengetedza nhaurirano: vakabvunza kanenge katanhatu mibvunzo kupfuura varume, "hooted" munzvimbo dzakakodzera, uye nedzimwe nzira dzakaratidza kufarira kwavo.
Varume, kune rumwe rutivi, vanenge vasingafarire kuti nhaurirano inofamba zvakanaka sei, uye havatsvage kuitsigira kana kutarisisa kweanopindirana kwakadzikira kana kuti musoro wapera.
Huya ufunge nezvazvo, isu tese takasangana neizvi muhupenyu hwedu hwemazuva ese. Akagara pamazuva, achibvunza mubvunzo mushure memubvunzo uye achigutsurira kune mutsva waanozivana naye, achimuyemura nenzwi guru uye achida kuziva zvakawanda, asingagamuchiri kutariswa kwakaenzana mukudzoka. Vakapererwa vachitsvaga nyaya yekuti vataure nemutauri mutsva uye vakanzwa vaine mutoro kana nhaurirano ikatanga kupera.
Vakanyora mameseji marefu aine zvirevo, mibvunzo, uye tsananguro yakadzama yemanzwiro avo, uye mukupindura vakagamuchira pfupi "ok" kana kuti hapana zvachose ("Ndanga ndisingazive chekukupindurai"). Daily akabvunza mumwe wake kuti zuva rake rakafamba sei, uye akateerera nyaya refu, asingambowani mubvunzo wekupindura.
Asi basa remanzwiro harisi chete kukwanisa kuchengetedza hurukuro, asiwo mutoro wekutangwa kwayo. Vakadzi ndivo vanowanzo fanira kutanga kurukurirano pamusoro pezvinetso zvehukama, ramangwana ravo, uye dzimwe nyaya dzakaoma.
Kazhinji kuedza kwakadaro kujekesa mamiriro acho ezvinhu kunoramba kusina maturo - mukadzi anopiwa "kutakura-uropi" uye akafuratirwa, kana kuti iye pachake pakupedzisira anofanira kuvimbisa murume.
Tese tave tiri mumamiriro ezvinhu akafanana: tinoedza kutaurira mumwe munhu zvinyoro nyoro kuti maitiro ake anotirwadzisa kana kuti haatigutse, asi mushure memaminitsi mashoma tinoona kuti tiri kuitisa monologue inonyaradza - "zvakanaka, kanganwa izvozvo, zvese zvakanaka."
Asi basa repfungwa rine zvakawanda zvinobatika kunze kwenzvimbo yekukurukurirana kwakaoma. Basa remoyo nderekunyepera orgasm kuti murume anzwe semudiwa akanaka. Iri ibonde kana wada mudiwa kuti mood yake irege kuparara. Uku ndiko kuronga kwemhuri uye hupenyu hwemagariro emhuri - misangano, kutenga, mazororo, mapati evana.
Izvi zvinoita kuti hupenyu huve nyore kune mumwe wake mundege yemumba. Aya maitiro erudo uye nehanya anoitwa pasina chikumbiro chekutanga chemudiwa. Uku ndiko kucherechedzwa kwekodzero yemanzwiro emudiwa, kuremekedza zvido zvake uye zvikumbiro. Uku kuratidza kutenda kune mumwe wake nezvaanoita. Ndaza yacho inogona kuenderera mberi nekusingaperi.
Uye chii kubva pane izvi?
Zvakanaka, vakadzi vanoita basa remanzwiro uye varume havaiti. Dambudziko nderei apa? Dambudziko nderekuti kana mumwe wevadyidzani achifanirwa kutakura mutoro wakapetwa kaviri, anogona kutyoka pasi pemutoro uyu. Vakadzi vanoshandira vaviri uye vanobhadhara iyo nehutano hwavo, zvese zvemuviri nezvepfungwa.
Kuneta, kuora mwoyo, kuzvidya mwoyo, uye hurwere hunokonzerwa nekuzvidya mwoyo ndizvo izvo vakadzi vanopiwa mubayiro wekushanda kwavo nesimba.
Kunooneka kuti kugara uchifunga nezvevamwe, kuronga, kudzora, kuyeuka, kuyeuchidza, kuita ndandanda, kurangarira zvinofarirwa navamwe vanhu, kutarisira mirangariro yavamwe uye kuita zvibvumirano zvisina kufanira kunokuvadza zvikuru uye kune ngozi.
Zvisinei, nhamba hadzina utsinye kuvarume. Maererano neSwedish Bureau of Statistics, varume ndivo vanonzwa zvakanyanya kana varambana - vanonyanya kusurukirwa, vane hukama hwepedyo nevana, vashoma shamwari, kunyanya kushamwaridzana nehama, kurarama kwenguva pfupi, uye njodzi yekuzviuraya yakakura zvikuru. kupfuura vakadzi.
Zvinoitika kuti kusakwanisa kuita basa rekunzwa, kuchengetedza hukama, kurarama manzwiro uye kutarisira vamwe hakuna kukuvadza uye kune njodzi pane kushumira vamwe hupenyu hwako hwese.
Uye izvi zvinoratidza kuti muenzaniso wezvino wekuvaka hukama uye kugovera mutoro mavari hauchashandi. Inguva yekuchinja, haufungi here?