Wese munhu ane pfungwa dzekuti anofanirwa kuve mudiwa akakodzera. Uye tinoramba tichitsoropodza akasarudzwa, tichiedza kumukodzera kutsika dzedu. Tinonzwa sokuti tiri kuita nevavariro dzakanakisisa. Clinical psychologist Todd Kashdan anotenda kuti maitiro akadaro anongoparadza hukama.
Oscar Wilde akamboti, "Runako ruri muziso reanoona." Nyanzvi dzinoita sedzinobvumirana naye. Ndoda kana zvasvika pakudanana. Uyezve, maonero edu pamusoro pemudiwa uye matarisiro atinoita hukama anokanganisa maitiro avachaita.
Nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzepaGeorge Mason University kuUnited States dzakasarudza kutsvaga kuti kuongororwa kwekukodzera kwemudiwa kunokanganisa sei hukama munguva refu. Vakakoka 159 vakaroorana vakaroorana uye vakakamura kuva mapoka maviri: vekutanga vaiva vadzidzi, yechipiri vaiva vakuru vakaroorana. Chidzidzo ichi chaitungamirwa napurofesa wezvepfungwa dzekiriniki Todd Kashdan.
Kubatsira uye zvakaipa
Vatori vechikamu vakakumbirwa kuti vasarudze hunhu hwavo hutatu hwakasimba kune mumwe nemumwe uye kudoma zvakaipa "mhedzisiro" yeaya maitiro. Semuenzaniso, iwe unofara nemafungiro ekugadzira emurume wako, asi hunyanzvi hwake hwekuronga hunosiya zvakanyanya kudiwa.
Ipapo mapoka ese ari maviri aipindura mibvunzo nezve chiyero chehukama hwepedyo mune vaviri, kugutsikana kwepabonde, uye akaongorora kuti vanofara sei muhukama uhwu.
Avo vanokoshesa simba remumwe wavo zvakanyanya vanogutsikana nehukama uye hupenyu hwepabonde. Vanowanzonzwa kuti mudiwa anotsigira zvishuwo zvavo nezvinangwa uye anobatsira kukura kwavo.
Vanhu vanonyanya kukoshesa kukanganisa kwemumwe wavo kashoma kuti vanzwe vachitsigirwa naye
Pamusoro pezvo, avo vanokoshesa kunaka kwemumwe vakazvipira zvakanyanya, vanonzwa kuwirirana mupfungwa mune vakaroorana, uye vanoisa simba rakawanda mukugara zvakanaka kwese. Kudzidza kukoshesa simba remumwe wako kunobatsira kuvaka hukama hwakanaka. Vakaroorana vakadaro vanokoshesa unhu hwavo pachavo hwakanaka.
Mumwe mubvunzo ndewekuti mafungiro evadiwa kudivi reunhu hwemukwanyina anokanganisa sei kugara zvakanaka kwevakaroorana. Mushure mezvose, semuenzaniso, zvakaoma kumusikana wekugadzira kuchengetedza kurongeka mukamuri, uye murume ane mutsa uye ane rupo anogara akasungwa.
Zvakazoitika kuti vanhu vanonyanya kutarisisa kukanganisa kwemumwe wako havagone kunzwa kutsigirwa kubva kwaari. Vadzidzi vakatora rutivi muchidzidzo chacho vakabvuma kuti vakanga vasingafari zvikuru noukama uye mufambiro womudiwa uyo asingawanzoratidzi rudo kana kuti kuvatsoropodza kazhinji kazhinji. Vatori vechikamu vakanyunyuta nezvekushaikwa kwehukama hwehukama uye kugutsikana kwakaderera nehupenyu hwavo hwepabonde.
Simba rekufunga
Imwe mhedziso yevatsvakurudzi: maonero emumwe mudiwa pamusoro pehukama anokanganisa kutonga kwechipiri. Wokutanga paanoonga kusimba kwemumwe zvakanyanya kana kunetseka zvishoma nekuda kwezvikanganiso zvake, wechipiri anowanzoona tsigiro yemudiwa.
"Maonero evadyidzani nezvemumwe nemumwe anoumba chokwadi chavo chakagovaniswa muhukama," akadaro mutungamiri wezvidzidzo Todd Kashdan. “Vanhu vanochinja maitiro zvichienderana nekuti chii chinokosheswa nekuzivikanwa muhukama nezvisingaonekwi. Vanhu vaviri vari mumubatanidzwa werudo vanogadzira yavo ega mamiriro: maitiro, maitiro ekusazvibata, uye chii chakanakira vaviri.
Kukwanisa kuonga mumwe nemumwe ndiyo kiyi yehukama hwakanaka. Kana tikakoshesa masimba emumwe wedu, tichivataurira nezvazvo, uye tovabvumira kushandisa masimba aya, tinobatsira mudikanwi kuona kugona kwake. Zvinotibatsira kuti tive nani uye tikure pamwe chete. Tinotenda kuti tinogona kutsungirira matambudziko uye kuchinja muupenyu.
Nezve Nyanzvi: Todd Kashdan ikiriniki yepfungwa paGeorge Mason University.