Kuparadzana nemumwe wako kwakafanana nekuvhiya: tinocheka chikamu chakakosha chehupenyu hwedu kubva pachedu. Hazvishamisi kuti nzira iyi yakaoma uye inorwadza. Asi kazhinji tinowedzera zviitiko zvedu pachedu, anotsanangura kudaro nyanzvi yepfungwa Susan Heitler.
Mutengi wangu Stephanie akafona achikumbira kubvunza nekukurumidza. “Handichazvigoni! akadaro. “Muchato wangu wakaoma kudaro. Asi kurambana kunoita kuti ndiwedzere kutambura!”
Mukati memusangano, ndakakumbira Stephanie kuti ape muenzaniso apo maitiro aJohn “anenge aimbova murume” akaita kuti anzwe kuremerwa.
“Ndakaenda kumba kwake kunotora zvinhu zvangu. Uye handina kuwana zvishongo zvangu, zvandaigara ndinazvo mudhirowa repamusoro rebhokisi remadhirowa. Ndakamubvunza kuti vangave vari kupi. Uye haana kana kupindura, akangosimudza mapendekete ake, ivo vanoti, ko aizoziva sei!
Ndakamubvunza kuti ainzwa sei panguva iyoyo.
“Ari kundiranga. Zvakanga zvakadaro nguva yose yatakaroorana. Aigara achindiranga.” Kutambura kwakanzwika munzwi rake.
Mhinduro iyi ndiyo yaiva kiyi yekunzwisisa mamiriro acho ezvinhu. Kuti ndiedze fungidziro yangu, ndakakumbira Stephanie kuyeuka chimwe chiitiko chakafanana.
“Zvakafanana pandakabvunza kuti dambarefu rine mapikicha angu ehudiki, randakapihwa naamai vangu riri kupi. Uye akapindura nehasha: "Ndinoziva sei?"
Uye chii chakanga chiri kuita kwake kumashoko aJohane?
“Nguva dzose anondiita kuti ndinzwe ndisingakoshi, sokunge ndinogara ndichiita chinhu chiri chose chakaipa,” akanyunyuta kudaro. “Saka ndakaita semazuva ese. Zvakare ndakanzwa ndakuvadzwa kwazvo zvokuti, ndasvika pafurati yangu itsva, ndakarara ndokurara ndaneta zuva rose!”
Mafambiro Atakakudziridza Muwanano Anowedzera Kuzvidya Mwoyo uye Kuora Mwoyo
Nei zvose zviri zviviri upenyu nemurume wake uye kurambana kwairwadza zvikuru kuna Stephanie?
Kuroorana kunonetsa nguva dzose. Divorce process futi. Uye, sekutonga, chii chinoomesa hupenyu muwanano chinoita kuti kurambana kurwadze.
Rega nditsanangure zvandiri kureva. Hongu, kurambana chinhu, mumusimboti, chinhu chinorwadza chinogona kufananidzwa nekuvhiyiwa kwegumbo - tinobvisa kubva pachedu hukama hwaimboreva zvakawanda kwatiri. Tinofanira kuvakazve hupenyu hwedu hwese. Uye mumamiriro ezvinhu aya hazvibviri, kana pane dzimwe nguva, kuti usasangana nekushungurudzika, kusuruvara kana kutsamwa.
Asi panguva imwecheteyo, maitiro emafambiro atakaita muwanano iyi yakaoma inowedzera kuwedzera manzwiro edu, kuwedzera kunetseka uye kuora mwoyo.
Zvinoenderana nezvakawanda zvinhu, semhinduro dzako kumibvunzo yakaita se:
Dzimwe nhengo dzemhuri dzinotsigira sei?
- Pane chimwe chinhu chinokurudzira here muhupenyu hwako, chimwe chinhu chinokutendera kuti usaende mumakwikwi mukurambana?
- Iwe nemumwe wako "wauchada" wagadzirira kushandira pamwe kana kunetsana?
— Udyire uye makaro zvakadii mauri kana kwaari?
Fantasy vs chokwadi
Asi dzokera kumuenzaniso waStephanie. Chii chaizvoizvo chakaita kuti ukama hwake nomurume wake hurwadze kudaro uye chii chinomutadzisa kurarama nenzira yokurambana nayo nhasi? Izvi zvinhu zviviri zvandinowanzosangana nazvo mukuita kwangu kwekiriniki.
Yokutanga ndiko kududzirwa zvisirizvo kwemaitiro emumwe munhu nerubatsiro rwemaitiro akaumbwa kare, uye yechipiri ndeyemunhu.
Kusanzwisiswa zvisizvo nekuda kwemafungiro ekare zvinoreva kuti seri kwemazwi emunhu mumwe tinonzwa inzwi remumwe munhu - uyo akambotitambudza.
Personalization zvinoreva kuti tinoona zviito nezviito zvomumwe munhu zvakakonzerwa neakaundi yedu pachedu uye tinozviona semharidzo yakaipa kwatiri kana kuti pamusoro pedu. Mune zvimwe zviitiko, izvi ndezvechokwadi, asi kakawanda kupfuura kwete, kunzwisisa maitiro emumwe munhu kunoda mamiriro makuru.
Stephanie anoona hunhu hwemurume wake "anenge aimbova" sechido chekumuranga. Rutivi rwouduku hwounhu hwake hunodavidza kumashoko aJohane nenzira imwe cheteyo apo pazera ramakore 8 akaita kuna baba vake vanotuka apo vakamuranga.
Mukuwedzera, zvinoratidzika kwaari kuti ndiye anogumbura John. Seri kweidzi fungidziro, Stephanie anorasikirwa nechiono chemamiriro chaiwoiwo. John sezvingabvira anosuruvariswa zvikuru kuti mudzimai wake akasarudza kumusiya, uye ndiko kunzwa uku ndiko kunogona kumutsa hasha dzake.
Fungisisa kuti mashoko nezviito zvinorwadza zvomumwe munhu zvinorevei pamusoro pako, kwete pamusoro pako.
Muchikamu chechipiri, kutsamwiswa kwezwi raJohn kuna Stephanie zvinoreva kuti anomuderedza. Asi kana ukanzvera zvakadzika, unogona kunzwisisa kuti anonzwa inzwi rokuzvidza remukoma wake, uyo muuduku akamuratidza ukuru hwake munzira dzose dzinobvira.
Uye kana tikadzokera kuchokwadi, tichaona kuti Johane, pane kudaro, anotora nzvimbo yekudzivirira. Kwaari zvinoita sokuti hapana chaanokwanisa kuita kuti mudzimai wake afare.
Achitsanangura chiono chake chemamiriro ezvinhu, Stephanie akadzokorora akashandisa kutaura kwokuti "akaita kuti ndinzwe ...". Mashoko aya chiratidzo chakakosha zvikuru. Anokurudzira kuti:
a) mukurukuri anogona kududzira zvaanonzwa kuburikidza neruzivo rwezvakaitika kare: izvo mazwi aya angarevei maererano nemumwe munhu;
b) pane chinhu chemunhu mukududzirwa, ndiko kuti, munhu anowanzo taura zvese kuaccount yake.
Nzira yekubvisa sei idzi tsika dzekufunga dzisingabereki?
Zano rinonyanyozivikanwa nderokufunga kuti mashoko nezviito zvinorwadza zvomumwe munhu zvinorevei pamusoro pake, uye kwete pamusoro pako. John akapindura Stephanie nehasha nokuti akanga akaora mwoyo uye akatsamwa. Mutsara wake "Ndinoziva sei?" inoratidza mamiriro ake ekurasikirwa. Asi hazvisi zvekurambana chete.
Kuwedzera kunzwira tsitsi kwatinoita kune vamwe vanhu, kunowedzera kusimba kwatinoita mukati.
Pashure pezvose, kunyange muupenyu hwemhuri, John akanga asingazivi kuti mudzimai wake aitarisira kwaari. Haana kunzwisisa zvaaitaura, asi haana kumbomubvunza, haana kuedza kutsvaga zvaaida. Akadzokera mukufunga kwake, uko kwakakurumidza kuwedzera mukutsamwa kwaifukidza kuvhiringidzika kwake.
Chii chandinoda kutaura nemuenzaniso uyu? Kana iwe uchifanira kutambura nekuda kwemaitiro emumwe wako muhupenyu hwemhuri kana atova mukurambana, usadudzire mazwi ake nezviito, usatora fungidziro dzako sechokwadi. Mubvunze kuti zvinhu zvakamira sei. Kunyanya kunyatsonzwisisa manzwiro echokwadi emudiwa, zvakanyanya kujeka iwe uchaona iwo chaiwo, uye kwete mamiriro akagadzirwa.
Kunyange kana iwe uine hukama hwakaoma uye hunovhiringidza, edza kudzokera kune chokwadi uye kubata mumwe wako nekunzwira tsitsi. Mushure mezvose, anogona kukutarisa kuburikidza neprism yehukama hwake hwekare. Uye ane ganhuriro dzake, kungofanana newe. Kuwedzera kunzwira tsitsi kwatinoita kune vamwe vanhu, kunowedzera kusimba kwatinoita mukati. Edza uzvionere wega.