PSYchology

Kazhinji tinonzwa tarambwa, takakanganwika, tisingakosheswi, kana kunzwa kuti hatina kugamuchira ruremekedzo rwatinofunga kuti rwakafanira. Nzira yekudzidza sei kusagumburwa pamusoro pezviduku? Uye vanoda kutigumbura nguva dzose here?

Anna akaita mavhiki akati kuti achironga mabiko ekupemberera zuva regore rekambani iyi. Ndakabhuka cafe, ndikawana muratidziri nevaimbi, ndakatumira akawanda ekukoka, uye ndakagadzirira zvipo. Manheru akafamba zvakanaka, pakupera bamukuru vaAnna vakabva vasimuka kuti vataure zvechivanhu.

“Haana kumbonditenda,” anodaro Anna. — Ndakashatirwa. Akaedza zvakanyanya, uye haana kuona zvakakodzera kuti abvume. Ipapo ndakasarudza: kana asingakoshese basa rangu, ini handimukoshese. Akava asina ushamwari uye asingachinjiki. Hukama nashefu hwakazoipa zvekuti akazonyora tsamba yekusiya basa. Kwakanga kuri kukanganisa kukuru, nokuti iye zvino ndava kunzwisisa kuti ndaifara mubasa iroro.”

Tinogumburwa tofunga kuti tashandiswa kana munhu watakaitira aenda asina kumbotenda.

Tinonzwa takarasikirwa kana tisingawani ruremekedzo rwatinonzwa kuti rwakafanira. Kana mumwe munhu akakanganwa zuva redu rekuzvarwa, haadzoke, haatikoke kumabiko.

Tinoda kuzvifunga sevanhu vasina udyire vanogara vakagadzirira kubatsira, asi kazhinji kazhinji, tinogumburwa uye tinofunga kuti takatorwa mukana apo munhu watakasimudza, kubata, kana kuitirwa nyasha anosiya asina. ndichiti maita basa.

Zvichenjerere iwe. Iwe uchaona kuti iwe unonzwa uchirwadziwa nekuda kwechimwe chezvikonzero izvi anenge mazuva ese. Nyaya yakajairika: munhu wacho haana kutarisa maziso pawaitaura, kana kupinda mumutsetse pamberi pako. Maneja akadzorera mushumo nechinodikanwa chokuipedzisa, shamwari yacho yakaramba kokero kukuratidzira.

Usagumburawo

“Nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzinoidza kugumbuka uku kuti “kukuvadzwa kwoutsinye,” anotsanangura kudaro purofesa wepfungwa Steve Taylor. "Vanokuvadza kuzvikudza, vanoita kuti unzwe usingakosheswi. Pakupedzisira, ndiko kunzwa uku kunokonzera chigumbu - isu hatiremekedzwe, tinoderedzwa.

Kugumbuka kunoratidzika kuva kunowanzoitika, asi kunowanzova nemigumisiro ine ngozi. Zvinogona kutora pfungwa dzedu kwemazuva, zvichivhura maronda epfungwa akaoma kupora. Tinodzokorora zvakaitika kakawanda mupfungwa dzedu kusvikira marwadzo uye kunyadziswa kwatipedza simba.

Kazhinji kurwadziwa uku kunotisundira kutora nhanho kumashure, kunokonzera chido chekutsiva. Izvi zvinogona kuzviratidza mukuzvidzana: "Haana kundikoka kumabiko, saka handisi kuzomukorokotedza paFacebook (sangano rinotyisa rakarambidzwa muRussia) pazuva rekuzvarwa kwake"; "Haana kunditenda, saka ndicharega kumuona."

Kazhinji marwadzo ekugumbuka anotisundira kutora danho shure, zvinokonzera chido chekutsiva.

Zvinoitika kuti kutsamwa kunowedzera, uye zvinosvika pakuti iwe unotanga kutarisa neimwe nzira, kusangana nemunhu uyu mukoridho, kana kutaura zvinobaya kumashure kwako. Uye kana akadavidza pakusada kwako, zvinogona kukwira kuva ruvengo rwakazara. Ushamwari hwakasimba hahumiri mukurangana, uye mhuri yakanaka inoparara pasina chikonzero.

Zvakatonyanya kuipa - kunyanya kana zvasvika kune vechidiki - chigumbu chinogona kumutsa kuita kwechisimba kunotungamira kumhirizhonga. Nyanzvi dzepfungwa Martin Dali naMargot Wilson vakaverenga kuti pazvikamu zviviri kubva muzvitatu zvekuuraya kwese, pekutangira ndiko kunzwa kwekugumbuka: "Ini handiremekedzwe, uye ndinofanira kuchengetedza chiso zvachose." Mumakore achangopfuura, US yakaona kuwedzera kwe "mhondi dzinouraya," mhosva dzinokonzerwa nekukonana kudiki.

Kazhinji kazhinji, mhondi ipwere dzinotadza kuzvidzora, dzinonzwa kukuvadzwa mumeso eshamwari. Mune chimwe chiitiko, wechidiki akapfura murume pamutambo webasketball nekuti "Handina kufarira nzira yaainditarisa." Akasvika murume wacho ndokumubvunza kuti: “Uri kuonei?” Izvi zvakaita kuti vatukana uye vapfurwe. Mune imwewo nyaya, mumwe mukadzi wechiduku akabaya mumwe nokuti akanga akapfeka hembe yake asina kubvunza. Kune mimwe mimwe mienzaniso yakadaro.

Vanoda kukugumbura here?

Chii chingaitwa kuti usanyanya kugumbuka?

Maererano neruzivo rwemunhu wepfungwa Ken Case, danho rekutanga kubvuma kuti tinonzwa kurwadziwa. Zvinoita sezviri nyore, asi muchokwadi, kazhinji tinosungirirwa papfungwa yekuti munhu akashata, akaipa - uyo akatigumbura. Kuzivikanwa kwekurwadziwa kweumwe kunovhiringidza kumanikidza kudzokororwa kwemamiriro ezvinhu (ndizvo zvinonyanya kutikuvadza, nekuti zvinobvumira kutsamwa kukura kupfuura mwero).

Ken Nyaya inosimbisa kukosha kwe "nzvimbo yekupindura". Funga nezvezvinozoguma zvaitika usati watanga kutukwa. Yeuka kuti nevaya vanokurumidza kugumbuka, vamwe havana kusununguka. Kana uchinzwa wakarerutswa nokuti waitarisira kuita kwakati, uye zvikasatevera, zvichida chikonzero chacho itarisiro dzakawedzerwa dzinoda kuchinjwa.

Kana mumwe munhu akasakuona, unogona kunge uri kutora chikwereti kune zvinhu zvisingashande kwauri.

“Kazhinji pfundepfunde inomuka mukurava zvisina kufanira kwemamiriro ezvinhu,” nyanzvi yendangariro Elliot Cohen anokudziridza iyi pfungwa. — Kana mumwe munhu akasakuona, pamwe unenge uchiti kune chimwe chinhu chisinganei newe kuaccount yako. Edza kutarisa mamiriro acho ezvinhu nemaonero omumwe munhu waunofunga kuti ari kuregeredza iwe.

Pamwe anga ari mushishi kana kuti haana kukuona. Akazvibata zvisina musoro kana kusateerera nekuti aive akanyura mundangariro dzake. Asi kunyange kana mumwe munhu ane utsinye chaizvoizvo kana kuti asina tsika, pangava nechikonzero cheizvi zvakare: zvichida munhu wacho akatsamwa kana kuti anonzwa kutyisidzirwa newe.

Patinenge takuvadzwa, marwadzo acho anoita seanobva kunze, asi pakupedzisira tinozvibvumira kuti tinzwe takuvadzwa. Sezvakataurwa naEleanor Roosevelt zvine hungwaru, "Hapana achaita kuti unzwe wakaderera pasina mvumo yako."

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