Tinoratidza rudo nenzira dzakasiyana: nemashoko emutsa, kutarisa kwenguva refu uye kubata kwenguva pfupi, asiwo nezvipo, maruva kana mapanikake anopisa pakudya kwemangwanani… Zviratidzo zverudo zvinoita basa rei muupenyu hwevaviri? Uye misungo ipi yakatimirira pano?
Psychologies: Kudziya, rudo, hanya - mazwi ari pedyo nechirevo. Asi kana zvasvika pahukama hwerudo, mimvuri yezvinoreva yakakosha ...
Svetlana Fedorova: Izwi rekuti "kutarisira" rinoenderana neiyo Old Russian "zob", zvinoreva "kudya, chikafu" uye "zobatisya" - "kudya". «Zobota» yakamboreva chido chekupa zvokudya, kudya. Uye panguva yokupfimbana, tinoratidza watakaroorana naye mune ramangwana kuti tinokwanisa kuva vanaamai vemba vakanaka kana vanababa vemhuri, kuti tichakwanisa kudyisa vana.
Kudyisa ndiko kusikwa kwehupenyu uye rudo rwekutanga rwatinogamuchira kubva kuna amai. Pasina kutarisirwa uku, mucheche haararame. Isuwo tinoona erotic zviitiko kekutanga mukutanga mwana-amai hukama. Uku kukumbundira uye sitiroko zvisingaenderane nekugutsikana kwezvinodikanwa zvakakosha. Kunzwa kubatwa, mwana anonzwa achikwezva kuna amai, ivo vose vanofarira kuonana, tactile uye kuona.
Maonero atinoita rudo anochinja sei nezera?
SF: Chero bedzi mwana achiripo mukubatana naamai, kutarisira uye rudo mativi maviri emari imwe chete. Asi baba vanozarura dhidhi "amai-mwana": ane ukama hwake naamai, izvo zvinomutora kubva kumucheche. Mwana anoshungurudzika uye anoedza kufunga kuti anganakidzwa sei pasina kuvapo kwaamai.
Mukusangana kwepedyo, munhu haagoni kufuratira manzwiro uye zvido zveumwe.
Zvishoma nezvishoma, anotanga hukama nevamwe vanhu, pazera remakore 3-5 mafungiro ake anotendeuka, mafungiro anomuka pamusoro pekubatana kwakakosha pakati pevabereki vake, izvo zvisina kufanana nehukama hwake naamai vake. Kugona kwake kuongorora muviri wake uye kunakidzwa nawo kunoshandura mukukwanisa kufungidzira nezve erotic kubatana pakati pevanhu uye nezve mafaro anogona kuwanikwa mukusangana nemumwe.
Kuchengeta kunoparadzanisa kubva kune erotica?
SF: Unogona kudaro. Kuchengeta kwakabatana nekutonga uye hutungamiriri: uyo anochengetwa ari munzvimbo isina simba, inotambura kupfuura iye anomuchengeta. Uye zvenyama, kusangana pabonde kune nhaurirano. Kutarisira kunoreva kushushikana uye matambudziko, uye eroticism inenge isina kubatana nekushushikana, inzvimbo yekunakidzwa, kuongorora, kutamba. Kuva nehanya kunowanzova kusina tsitsi. Tinogona kutarisira mumwe chete pasina mhosva uye tisingaedzi kunzwisisa kuti chii chinomunetsa.
Uye vatano itsinhano yemirangariro, rudzi rwokutsinhirana nezvishuvo nezvinodikanwa zvomumwe. Tichipuruzirana, topinda muhurukuro, flirt: unondigamuchira here? Kana mumwe akaita chimwe chinhu chakaipa, mumwe wake anobva asuduruka kana kuti zvimwe anoratidza pachena kuti haazvifariri. Uye zvakasiyana. Mukusangana kwepedyo, munhu haagoni kufuratira manzwiro uye zvido zveumwe. Hukama haugone kuzara uye kuvimbana kana vakaroorana vasina hanya nemumwe.
Zvinoratidza kuti kuchengeta mudiwa kwakasiyana neimwe nzira nekuchengeta mubereki nezvemwana?
SF: Zvirokwazvo. Mumwe nomumwe wedu dzimwe nguva anoneta, anosangana nekunetseka kwakanyanya, anonzwa achirwara uye asingabatsiri, uye tinofanira kunzwisisa kuti pane mumwe munhu wekuvimba naye panguva yakadai.
Mudiwa, uyo akafukidzwa mukudziya uye nehanya senge dandemutande, anowira munzvimbo yehucheche.
Asi dzimwe nguva mumwe wevakaroorana anotora nzvimbo yakakwana yemwana, uye imwe, pane zvinopesana, yemubereki. Somuenzaniso, musikana, akawira murudo, anotanga kutarisira jaya risingaregi: kubika, kuchenesa, kutarisira. Kana kuti murume ave achichengeta imba kwemakore, uye mudzimai anorara pasofa aine migraine uye anozvitarisira. Hukama hwakadai hunosvika pakumira.
Nei pakupera, chii chinotadzisa budiriro?
SF: Kana munhu achitarisira kuwana rudo rweumwe nekutarisisa kwake, hukama hwakadaro hwakafanana nekutengesa-mari, hahupi mukana wekusimudzira. Uye mudiwa, uyo akafukidzwa mukudziya uye nehanya senge cobweb, anowira munzvimbo yehucheche. Kunyange kuita basa, kuwana, anoita seanoramba ari pazamu raamai vake. Haina kunyatsokura.
Tinowanepi zvinyorwa zvakadaro kubva?
SF: Kunyanya kuzvidzivirira kunowanzobatanidzwa nezviitiko zvehudiki apo waifanira kushanda nesimba kuti uwane rudo rwemubereki. Amai vakati: chenesa imba, tora mashanu, uye ini ndichakupa ..., tenga ... uye kunyange kutsvoda. Aya ndiwo maitiro atinojaira kuwana rudo, uye mamiriro ezvinhu aya anoita seanovimbika zvakanyanya.
Isu tinotya kuedza chimwe chinhu, zviri nyore kuti isu tigadzirise kune zvinodiwa nemumwe. Nehurombo, kuchengetedza kwakadaro dzimwe nguva kunoshanduka kuve ruvengo - apo muchengeti anongoerekana aona kuti haazombogashira kudzoka. Nokuti rudo rwechokwadi harungawanikwi nokuda kwokuitira hanya. Nzira chete yerudo ndiko kugamuchirwa kweumwe uye nekuziva kwekuparadzaniswa kweumwe wako.
Tinoda kuchengetwa, asiwo kuremekedzwa nokuda kwekuzvimirira. Nzira yekuchengetedza sei chiyero?
SF: Taura nenguva nezvezvishuwo zvako, kusanganisira zvebonde. Uyo anopa zvakawanda, nokukurumidza kana kuti gare gare anotanga kutarisira chimwe chinhu mukudzoka. Mukadzi anoaina hembe dzemurume wake achizvidira zuva nezuva anopera rimwe zuva, anomuka achitarisira kudzoreredzwa, asi ongonzwa kutukwa. Ane chigumbu. Asi chikonzero ndechokuti nguva yose iyi akanga asina kana kundandama pamusoro pezvaanofarira.
Chero ani anonzwa zvakanyanya uye asinganzwisisike, asingagamuchirwi, anofanira kuzvibvunza: panguva ipi yandakatsika pane zvandinoda? Mamiriro acho ezvinhu angagadziriswa sei? Zviri nyore kuzviteerera pachedu patinenge tichisangana ne "Ndinoda" yedu uye "Ndinogona" - nemwana wedu wemukati, mubereki, mukuru.
Rubatsiro chairwo harwusi mukuita chinhu chiri chose kune mumwe, asi mukuremekedza pfuma yake, simba remukati
Izvo zvinodikanwa kuti mudiwa aive akagadzirira kutora zvigaro zvakasiyana. Kuitira kuti chikumbiro chako chekuti “chitore mumaoko ako” chisanzwika: “Chii ichi? Ndinodawo! Zvibate wega." Kana mumwe munhu ari muvakaroorana asinganzwi mwana wake wemukati, saka haazonzwi zvido zveumwe.
Zvingava zvakanaka kudzivisa ngozi yokuyera pachikero kuti ndiani aitarisira ani uye kusvika pamwero wakadini!
SF: Hongu, uye naizvozvo zvakakosha kuita chimwe chinhu pamwe chete: kubika zvokudya, kutamba mitambo, ski, kurera vana, kufamba. Mune mapurojekiti akabatanidzwa, unogona kufunga pamusoro pako uye nezve chimwe chinhu, kurukura, kukakavara, kuwana kubvumirana.
Kuchembera, kurwara kwemumwe wevadyidzani kazhinji kunoisa hukama mune yakazara kuchengetedza modhi ...
SF: Kusava nechokwadi pamusoro pekukwezva kwemuviri wako wekuchembera kunovhiringidza kushamwaridzana kwepedyo. Asi caress inodiwa: inobatsira kuchengetedza simba rehupenyu mune mumwe nemumwe. Kunakidzwa kwehukama hakuperi nezera. Hungu, kuva nehanya nomumwe kunoparira chishuvo chokuitira hanya, kwete kupuruzira.
Asi rubatsiro chairwo harusi rwekuitira mumwe munhu zvese zvese. Uye mukuremekedza zviwanikwa zvayo, simba remukati. Mukukwanisa kuona kwete chete zvaanoda, asiwo zvaanogona, zvishuvo zvehupamhi hwepamusoro. Izvo zvakanakisisa izvo mudiwa anogona kupa ndezvokubvumira mudiwa kuti atsungirire maitiro kusvika kune zvakanyanya uye ararame hupenyu hwake ari oga. Kutarisira kwakadaro kunovaka.
Zvekuverenga nezvazvo?
Mitauro Mishanu Yerudo Gary Chapman
Mupi wezano wemhuri nomufundisi akawana kuti kune nzira huru shanu dzokuratidzira nadzo rudo. Dzimwe nguva havawirirane nevanoshamwaridzana navo. Uye zvino mumwe haanzwisisi zviratidzo zveumwe. Asi kunzwisisana kunogona kudzorerwa.
(Bhaibheri reVose, 2021)
1 2014 VTsIOM ongororo mubhuku "Vaviri muSosaiti: An Intimate Couple in the Modern World" (VTsIOM, 2020).