Varapi vemhuri vanoti chitsama chimwe chete chipfupi chinogona kubvisa kutsamwirana uye kuita kuti kupopotedzana kuve nhaurirano inovaka. Chii chinonzi mutsara uyu uye ungabatsira sei pakati pekupokana nemumwe wako?
"Usakanganwa kuti tiri kudivi rimwe chete"
Kwemakore gumi emuchato, mutori wenhau Ashley Innes anga agara akajaira kutaura nematoni akasimudzwa. Nguva nenguva chinhu chimwe chakadzokororwa: kukakavara kwakamuka nekuda kwekuti vose vakaroorana vakashanda nesimba, vachinetseka zvakanyanya, uye vakanga vasina nguva kana simba remhuri.
“Kwenguva yokupedzisira, kurukurirano pamusoro pemimwe mikana yebasa yakaguma nokusawirirana. Takavazve nokusabvumirana pamusoro pokuti basa rinotikanganisa sei isu nevana, kuti inguva yakawanda sei yatinowana yokuva nemhuri, uyo ane mutoro wamabasa api epamba. Pane imwe nguva, ndakaona kuti taipopotedzana uye tichipomerana,” anoyeuka kudaro Innes. Asi akazoshandisa "chombo chakavanzika" - mutsara unokubvumira kupedza kupopotedzana kupi zvako.
“Ndakaudza murume wangu kuti, ‘Usakanganwa kuti tiri kudivi rimwe chete. Tataura mashoko aya, tinobva tangorangarira kuti munhu ari pamberi pedu haasi muvengi wedu uye hatina chikonzero chekunetsana naye. Uye pachinzvimbo chekutukana, tinotanga kuteerera kune mumwe nemumwe, kutsvaga kubvumirana uye mhinduro dzematambudziko, "ane chokwadi.
Wanano mutambo wechikwata
Vazhinji varapi vemhuri vanobvumirana naInnes, uyo anopikisawo kuti nzira inokurumidza kudzikamisa nhaurirano ndeyokutaura mutsara wakapfava wokuti “tiri kudivi rimwe chete” kana kuti “tiri muboka rimwe chete.”
Kana isina kushungurudzwa (asi, kana iwe ukadzokorora mazwi aya kakawanda pazuva, ivo vanokurumidza kurega kuva nemigumisiro), mutsara uyu unogona kushandura chero kukakavara kuita nhaurirano inovaka pamusoro pekugadzirisa dambudziko. Mukati menharo, kana wagadzirira kubata mumwe nomumwe pahuro, vanokubetsera kurangarira kuti roorano “mutambo weboka” uye nzira yechokwadi yokurasikirwa nayo ndeyokuedza “kurovana” mumwe nomumwe.
“Nekutaura kuti tiri muchikwata chimwe chete, unenge uchiratidza pachena kuti kunyangwe usingade mamiriro akaita zvinhu pari zvino uye nekusiyana kwaakaita, uchiri kuda kuva pamwe chete uye kukoshesa hukama hwacho. Izvi zvinobatsira vese kumira kuzvidzivirira uye kutanga kugadzirisa dambudziko, "anotsanangura kudaro nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Marie Land.
Kunyange zviri nani, nzira iyi inowedzera kushanda nekufamba kwenguva.
Kana iwe uchiziva kuti munguva yakapfuura mashoko okuti "tiri kudivi rimwe chete" akabatsira kudzikama uye kutanga kufunga zvine musoro, ipapo kana iwe uchinzwa zvakare, pakarepo yeuka kuti wakakwanisa sei kusvika pakubvumirana uye kunzwisisana munguva yakapfuura. .
“Iyo One Team Technique inoshanda nekuti inobata zvakakosha zvenhaurirano dzepfungwa semakakatanwa nekurwa,” anodaro murapi wemhuri Jennifer Chappel Marsh. Nhaurirano yedu panguva yekukakavadzana inoitika pamatanho maviri: musoro wehurukuro (zvatinopokana nezvazvo) uye maitiro ehurukuro pachayo (mapokana atinopokana). “Kazhinji, kurukuriranowo zvayo inoshanduka kuva kupopotedzana chaizvoizvo nemhaka yenzira yainoitwa nayo,” anotsanangura kudaro chiremba wepfungwa.
Hurukuro inoitwa kubva panzvimbo yekuti «ini against you» haina kumira zvakanaka kubva pakutanga. Iwe unogona kukwanisa kukunda nharo nekumanikidza mudiwa kuti abvumirane, asi izvi zvinoreva kuti wakanganwa nezvechinangwa chako chechokwadi: muvengi chaiye idambudziko rakamuka muhukama, uye rinofanira kugadziriswa pamwe chete, pamwe chete, se chikwata.
"Nekutaura mutsara wakafanorongwa sewekuti "tiri muchikwata chimwe chete," tinobvuma kuti takundwa nemanzwiro uye kurega kuedza "kurova" shamwari," Chappel Marsh ane chokwadi.
Kuhwina Kana Kuyanana?
Mhinduro yacho iri nyore zvekuti inoita kuti ufunge: sei isu tichitovavarira kukunda nharo? Zvakaoma chaizvo here kuyeuka kubva pakutanga kuti tiri kudivi rimwe chete nemudiwa?
“Dzimwe nguva kuda kwedu kunzwiwa, kuongwa, kucherechedzwa kwatiri kunobva kwanyanya kukosha kupfuura zvinodiwa nevaviri. Panhanho yomusikirwo, kukunda nharo kunotorwa seuchapupu hwokuti tiri kutorwa zvakakomba. Zvinopa pfungwa yekuchengeteka,” anotsanangura kudaro Jennifer Chappel Marsh.
Kune rumwe rutivi, kurasikirwa nenharo nemudiwa kunogona kukonzera kutya, kuora mwoyo, uye pfungwa yekukundwa. Iwe unorasikirwa nekusatya uye unonzwa uchityisidzirwa, izvo zvinokonzeresa kurwa-kana-ndege mhinduro. Kuti udzivise izvi, iwe "unorwa", uchiedza "kukunda". “Saka vanhu vakawanda vanoita zvehasha pane kubatira pamwe chete,” anodaro murapi.
Aya maitiro echisikigo anogona kuita kuti zvitiomere kugamuchira chokwadi che "chikwata chimwe."
Murairidzi uye nyanzvi yezvepfungwa dzewanano Trey Morgan ave akaroora kwemakore makumi matatu nerimwe. Anga achishandisa nzira iyi kwenguva yakareba uye anovimbisa kushanda kwayo. Zvisinei, pakutanga zvakanga zvisiri nyore kuti abvume pfungwa iyi.
“Ini nomudzimai wangu patakanetsana, mumwe nomumwe wedu aida kuita zvakarurama. Uye, kutaura chokwadi chakazara, ndaida kuti imwe yacho ive isiri iyo. Kwakange kusati kwapera makore mashoma gare gare ndipo patakaona kuti isu tai "kutamba" kwechikwata chimwe chete. Takazoona kuti tinohwina uye tinokundwa pamwe chete, ”anoyeuka Morgan. Pashure pekuziva izvi, ukama hwavo nomudzimai wake hwakavandudzika zvikuru. "Kana iwe uchinyatso kugamuchira iyi pfungwa, inobatsira kudzikama."
Nzira yekuita sei nhaurirano mushure mokunge "mashoko emashiripiti" ataurwa? “Edza kubvunza mumwe wako mibvunzo inokubatsira kunzwisisa maonero ake. Somuenzaniso: "Chii chinonyanya kukosha kwauri pano?", "Chii chinokutsamwisa?". Izvi zvinobatsira pane kutaura chinzvimbo chako zvakare, "anopa zano murapi wemhuri Winifred Reilly.
Paunenge uchinge watanga kufunga uchitevedza mitsetse ye "tiri timu imwe," edza kuishandisa mukusangana kwako kwezuva nezuva nemumwe wako. “Zvakanaka kurangarira kuti kana mumwe wenyu ahwina mumwe achikundwa, mese muri kukundwa. Kunyangwe iwe ukakwanisa kuwana zvaunoda izvozvi, zvichave zvirinani kuhukama mukufamba kwenguva kana iwe ukawana mhinduro dzekukanganisa dzinofunga nezvezvishuwo zvevaviri, "Anopfupisa Winifred Reilly.