Kana kutsvaga kwe "wakarurama" mudiwa wehupenyu kunosvika pakumira, vakadzi vanonzwa kuora mwoyo kukuru uye vanobvunza mibvunzo pamusoro pezvakashata navo, chii chavakakanganisa. Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa dzemagariro evanhu Madeleine Fougeres ane chokwadi chokuti patinenge tichitsvaga mudiwa wehukama hwakasimba, tinofanira kuziva mafungiro edu echisikigo. Hazvirwadzi kuti vakadzi vazive kuti varume vavanokwezvwa navo kazhinji havawanzoita mibatanidzwa yenguva refu.
Chii chatinovimba nacho pakusarudza mudiwa, iyo hukama iyo pakupedzisira inoshanduka kuva yenguva pfupi? Zvikanganiso zvipi zvatinokanganisa uye tingazvidzivisa sei? Heano mamwe maitiro.
1. Kukwezva kwemuviri
Haasi mumwe nomumwe wedu anobvuma kuti kukwezva kwemuviri wemudiwa wako kwakakosha kwaari. Asi chokwadi chiri pachena: varume vakanaka pasina mubvunzo vanokwezva vakadzi vepabonde zvakanyanya, izvo zvinosimbiswa, pakati pezvimwe zvinhu, neongororo yakaitwa neAmerican nyanzvi yezvepfungwa dzemagariro Eli Finkel naPaul Eastwick.
Muchikamu, kukwezva uku hakuzivi uye kune midzi yekushanduka-shanduka: mamwe maitiro echirume uye akaenzana kumeso anoratidza kunaka kwemajini. Hatisatiwo tichisiiwa tisingakoshesi humwe unhu hwakanaka hunoratidzika kuva hunofambidzana nokukwezva kwomuviri. Tiri kutaura nezvemunhu akajeka uye kugona kwemunhu kutungamira hupenyu hunoshanda.
Kunyange zvakadaro, kune avo vanotsvaka hukama hurefu, hwakagadzikana, zviri nani kusiya varume vanoyevedza vari voga. Ongororo dzakaitwa dzinoratidza kuti varume vakatsvinda vanowanzobiridzira vavanodanana navo. Mukuwedzera, vanorambana kakawanda, zvichida nemhaka yokuti vanokuwana kwakaoma kuramba mikana iyo ukama hutsva hunovimbisa.
2.Sexy voice
Vakadzi vanowanzokwezvwa nevarume vane manzwi anokwezva. Vanowanzofarira manzwi akadzika, echirume anoratidza mazinga e testosterone. Uyezve, vakadzi vanowana varume vane timbre inonakidza zvakanyanya kufanana uye vanovaona vakanyanya kunakidza pahunhu. Panguva imwecheteyo, varume pachavo havaedzi kurarama kusvika kune zvinotarisirwa zvikuru: vane hukama hwakawanda hwepabonde, vanowanzobiridzira kune avo vavanoshamwaridzana navo kwenguva refu.
Zvidzidzo zvinoratidza kuti pakati pevarume vane manzwi akadzama ezvepabonde pane kunyanya vazhinji vanyengeri vanonyengetedza vakadzi vakatoroora kuhure. Haufanire kuona vanyengeri ava seshamwari dzenguva refu.
3. Varume muhukama
Vakadzi vanohura vanowanzokwezvwa nevarume vanenge vatova murudo. Izvi zvinonzi "copy mate selection": kana murume akawana "pre-approval" kubva kune mumwe mukadzi, vamwe vanotanga kumuwana anoyevedzawo. Uyezve, ivo vanonyanya kukoshesa kune avo varume vane vasikana kana vadzimai, uye kwete vakadzi.
Sei isiri pfungwa yakanaka kutsvaga murume anotova newako kana chinangwa chako chikuru chiri hukama hwenguva refu? Kana murume akagadzirira kusiya mudiwa wake kwauri, saka achaita zvimwe chete newe kana sarudzo inonakidza ichionekwa.
Kuwana ruzivo rwakanyanya rwepabonde kunobatsira kudzivisa kukanganisa uku. Vakadzi vane ruzivo vanonyanya kuzvivimba mukusarudza kwavo wekufambidzana naye uye havanzwe kuda kutevedzera sarudzo yevamwe.
Dana nevarume chaivo
Kana iwe uchivavarira kudanana kwenguva pfupi uye kwakanyanya, saka murume anoyevedza ane izwi rinonakidza anogona kunge ari mudiwa akakwana. Asi kune hukama hwakasimba hwenguva refu, unofanirwa kutsvaga varume mune dzimwe nzira. Kuremekedzana kunonyanya kukosha pakubudirira kwehukama hwenguva refu.
Kupfuura rudo, runofambirana nokunzwa kugutsikana kubva muukama hwechigarire, pamwe chete nokutendeseka. Uyewo, patinowedzera kuzivana, kudanana, uye kuremekedzana, kukwezva kwomuviri kunova kushoma zvikuru mukuchengetedza ukama hwenguva refu.
Nezvemunyori: Madeleine Fougeres purofesa wesocial psychology kuEastern Connecticut University uye munyori weThe Social Psychology of Attraction and Romance.