Vana vanofanira “kuregeredzwa zvakanaka,” anodaro chiremba wepfungwa wokuSwitzerland anonzi Allan Guggenbühl. Anokurudzira kurera vana zvishoma uye kuvapa rusununguko rwakawanda. Zvakanyanya kuomera vabereki vazhinji kuti vasarudze pane izvi, nekuti nzanga iri kumanikidza kubva kwese kwese. Kutya kuve kwakashata, kusava nehanya, kusava nehanya kwakanyanya, uye hazvinyatso kujeka kuti ungazvibvisa sei.
The Swiss psychotherapist, kusiyana nevamwe vanyori vakawanda, anoziva kubva kune yake pachake maitiro ekurapa kutya kwevanababa vazhinji naamai. Zvinoita sekuti ivo havasi kurera mwana wavo zvakanaka uye nehanya zvakakwana kuti vavepo chinyararire mu "neoliberal society" yedu.
Allan Guggenbühl mune Yakanakira Mwana Wangu. Kunyima kwatinoita vana vedu uduku” inokoka vanaamai nanababa kuti varatidze ushingi uye vanotsigira zvakasimba kodzero yevana pauduku hunotamba uye kuyaruka kunongoerekana kwaitika, kwakavhiringidzika umo vanobvumirwa kuzviedza uye kukanganisa.
Anoomerera pakusunungura kutonga uye kuudza vanhu vakuru: chikoro chishoma, zvidziviriro zvishoma, nzvimbo yakasununguka, kunyanya kuregeredza kwevabereki, uye "kudzungaira" kwemwana kusina chinangwa. Pashure pezvose, vabereki, pasinei nokuti zvaisuruvarisa sei kurava ikoku, havasati vachizoziva zviri nani kupfuura mwana wavo chisarudzo chakarurama nokuda kwoupenyu hwake hwomunguva yemberi.
“Vechidiki havachadi kuti ramangwana ravo rigadziriswe uye rivakwe nevanhu vakuru, vanoda kurigadzira ivo pachavo,” anonyora kudaro munyori.
Kushaya rusununguko kwevana
Chii chichaitika kune vana vava nezvose? Vachave vanozvigutsa here kana kuti vanhu vakuru vasingagoni kuzvibatsira? Chokutanga pane zvose, munhu anofanira kutya kukundikana kwavo, psychotherapist inogutsikana.
“Muri kuitira vana zvisina basa kana mukabvisa chero zvipingaidzo munzira yavo uye muchigara muchizadzisa zvese zvavanoda. Vanotanga kunzwa kuti zvakatipoteredza zvinofanira kuzadzisa zvido zvavo, uye hazvina kunaka kana zvikasadaro. Asi hupenyu hunogona kuoma uye hunopesana. "
Asi hazvisi shure kwechiitiko che "helicopter vabereki" (izwi iri rakazvarwa semufananidzo wevanaamai nemadzibaba nokusingaperi vachitenderera pamusoro pemwana) kuedza kudzivirira mwana kubva munyika ino isina kururama? Zviri pachena kuti vabereki vanoda zvakanakisisa nokuda kwomwana wavo.
Nhamba yevana mumhuri yadzikira, uye zera revabereki rawedzera. Vabereki vakura vanotya vana vavo - ichi ichokwadi. Mwana ari oga ane ngozi yokuva purojekiti inonyandura mirangariro. Mukuwedzera, vabereki vakadaro vane nguva yakawanda yemwana, uye izvi zvinowanzoenda kumativi kwaari.
Vana vakarega kutamba vakasununguka mumugwagwa. Nharembozha dzavo dzakakwana pakuonana nevezera ravo. Nzira yekuchikoro ikozvino inoitwa nemasevhisi e "amai-taxi". Swings uye masiraidhi panzvimbo dzekutamba anozadzwa nevana vanogara vachidzorwa nevabereki kana nannies.
Kutandara kwemwana - kubva kukireshi kusvika kune akapedza kudzidza - kwakarongeka kwakasimba, chero prank kana kuedza kwevechiri kuyaruka pakarepo kunobva kwave kusatenderwa munharaunda uye kunodudzirwa sechirwere uye kunyangwe kusagadzikana kwepfungwa.
Asi zvino mubvunzo unomuka: rusununguko rwakadini runoda mwana uye kutarisirwa kwakadini? Ndekupi kunoreva goridhe? “Vana vanoda vachengeti vavanogona kuvimba navo,” anodaro Allan Guggenbühl. — Zvakadaro, havadi vakuru vanoisa zvirongwa zvakasiyana pavari. Rega vana vasarudze zvavanoda.
Shanda, kwete kungodzidza
Vana vanoda chii kuti vafare? Maererano naAllan Guggenbühl, vanoda rudo. Rudo rwakawanda uye kugamuchirwa kwemitemo kubva kuvabereki. Asi vanodawo vanhu vavasingazivi vachakurukura navo uye vovapinza munyika zvishoma nezvishoma. Uye pano chikoro chinoita basa rinokosha. Zvisinei, kunyange pano chiremba wepfungwa ane kusagutsikana.
Unofanira kudzidza, asi kumbozorora kuitira mamwe mabasa anobatsira. Kushandiswa kwevana? Iyi yaizova mhinduro! inotumira Zurich psychotherapist. “Kubva pazera remakore mapfumbamwe, anodhinda mapepanhau kamwe chete pasvondo pane kuenda kuchikoro. Uye zvakafamba kwemwedzi yakati wandei. " Izvi zvichawedzera mikana yemwana.
Iwe unogona kuishandisa mubasa rekuchengetera zvinhu, kushanda mumunda kana mune zviduku zvekutengesa - semuenzaniso, kushanda kwenguva pfupi muchitoro paunenge uchiisa zvinhu pamaraki, uchibatsira pakubhadhara, mabasa ekuchenesa uye kubvunza vatengi. Maresitorendi anopa mikana yakawanda yekuwana mari.
Muhoro, maererano nemunyori webhuku, haufanire kuenderana nehuwandu hwevanhu vakuru, asi kubva pakuona kwemwana, inofanirwa kuve yakakosha. Guggenbühl ane chokwadi chokuti izvi zvichapa vana ruzivo rwemutoro chaiwo uye kubudirira munyika yevanhu vakuru.
Nekudaro, dambudziko nebhuku raGuggenbuhl, pamwe nemamwe akawanda akafanana emabhuku ekurera vabereki, nderekuti mhedziso dzayo dzinongoshanda kune chikamu chehuwandu, vatsoropodzi vanodaro. Kutarisa pamasherufu muzvitoro zvemabhuku, munhu angafunga kuti kudzora uye kurudziro yavabereki vokuEurope idambudziko guru renzanga.
Kutaura zvazviri, hazvisi kudaro. Imwe nyaya inonyanya kunetsa ndeyekuti, semuenzaniso, muGermany, 21% yevana vese vanogara zvachose muurombo. MuBremen neBerlin mwana ari wose wechitatu murombo, kunyange muHamburg yakapfuma mwana wechishanu ari wose anogara pasi peurombo. Uye nhamba dzakadaro dzichaita sei kana iwe ukatarisa kuRussia?
Vana vanogara pasi pemutsetse wehurombo vanogara vari mukushushikana kwepfungwa, mamiriro ekugara akamanikana, vabereki vavo havana mari yekudya zvine hutano, dzidzo, mafaro uye zororo. Ivo zvirokwazvo havatyisidzirwe nekushatiswa uye kugutsa zvido. Zvingave zvakanaka kana vanachipangamazano pakati pevana nevechiri kuyaruka psychotherapist vaizopa nguva yavo nehanya kune iyi yehudiki zvakare.