Mukati
Kuzviparadzanisa nevamwe kwakave muedzo wakaoma kumhuri dzakawanda, kunyange idzo dzinotonga kuwirirana uye kunzwisisana. Asi zvakadini neavo vanozviwana vavharirwa vari vega nenarcissist - semuenzaniso, wavakaroora kana mudiwa wenguva refu? Chiremba wepfungwa Kristin Hammond anotsanangura nemuenzaniso chaiwo woupenyu.
Muchato uchangopera, Maria akatanga kuona kuti murume wake akanga ari murairi chaiye. Pakutanga, akatora maitiro ake kune infantilism, asi mushure mokuberekwa kwemwana, hukama hwemhuri hwakatanga kupisa. Baba vechidiki vakanga vasina hukama hwakazara kumwana, nekuda kwekuti iye akawedzera kuda uye ane udyire. Kazhinji kazhinji kuna Maria kwakaratidzika kuti murume wake nomwana vakanga vachikwikwidza nokuda kwengwariro yake.
Kana akateerera zvakanyanya kumwana, izvo zvinowanzoitika, kunyanya mumwedzi yekutanga mushure mokuberekwa kwake, murume wake akatanga kumutsamwira, kutsoropodza, kumunyadzisa uye kunyange kumutuka. Pakanga pasina rubatsiro kubva kwaari pamba, uye kunze kwaizvozvo, akamurambidza kupinda mubhajeti remhuri uye haana kukanganwira chikanganiso chidiki.
Nekutanga kwedenda reCoronavirus, murume waMaria, sevamwe vazhinji, akachinjirwa kubasa repamba. Kugara kuripo kwemudzimai wake «padivi pake» zvakakurumidza kumutsamwisa, zvaidiwa paari zvakakura zvakanyanya: kumugadzirira tii kana kofi, kumushamisa nendiro itsva yekudya kwemanheru ... Maria akanzwa abatwa. Chii chingaitwa mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro?
1. Dzidza kunzwisisa maitiro emunhu anonyomba
Hazvina kukwana kuziva tsanangudzo yezwi rokuti "narcissism" - kugara nemunhu akadaro, zvakakosha kunzwisisa kuti psyche yake inoshanda sei. Kuti uite izvi, iwe uchafanirwa kugara uchipinda mukuzvidzidzisa.
Maria aifanira kudzidza kuveza nguva pakati pemafeed kuti averenge zvinyorwa uye kuteerera podcasts nezve narcissism. Paakatanga kunyatsonzwisisa zvaiitika haana kuzomboita seaizopengesa murume wake.
2. Usatarisire shanduko
Narcissist haakwanisi kunzwisisa kuti ndiye dambudziko (ichi ndicho chimwe chezviratidzo zvikuru zvenarcissism). Anogara achizviona ari nani uye ari nani pane vamwe. Usatarisira kuti izvi zvichachinja, tariro yenhema inongogadzira mamwe matambudziko.
Maria akarega kumirira kuti murume wake atange kuchinja, uye akatanga kumudzivisa zvakasimba. Somuenzaniso, akatanga kugara achitaura kwaari semuenzaniso wemurume ane hanya uye ane rudo weshamwari, murume wemhuri ane muenzaniso wakanaka uye baba vakanaka, vachidenha murume wake kumakwikwi.
3. Usazvirase
Narcissists vanokwanisa kushandura vamwe zvishoma nezvishoma mukufanana kwavo. Vane chokwadi chokuti vamwe vanhu vachararama zviri nani kana vakavatevedzera. Kuti urege kurasikirwa iwe pachako pasi pekumanikidzwa kwakadaro, zvakakosha kunyatsonzwisisa zviri kuitika. Hazvisi nyore kuramba, asi zvinogoneka.
Maria akaona kuti akanga asiya hunhu hwake hwese kuti afadze murume wake. Akasarudza kudzoreredza zvishoma nezvishoma hunhu hwake hwose hwakadzvinyirirwa.
4. Omerera kuzvinangwa zvako nemisimboti
Narcissists vanotarisira kuti munhu wese akavapoteredza afungidzire zvishuwo zvavo pasina mazwi, vanogara vachida chimwe chinhu uye vachitaura zvinozvidza. Kuti urarame mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, unoda zvibodzwa zvako, misimboti uye zviyero, zvakasununguka kubva kune maonero e narcissist. Kutenda kwavari, iwe unozokwanisa kuchengetedza maonero ane hutano pahupenyu uye nekuzviremekedza kwakakwana, kunyangwe pesvedzero ye narcissist.
5. Isa Miganhu Yakajeka
Kana iwe ukaedza kumisikidza miganhu yakasimba muhukama narcissist, anogara achivayedza kuti awane simba, achivaona sedambudziko. Panzvimbo pezvo, unogona kugadza ganhuriro dzakajeka, dzakadai sokuti: “kana akandinyengera, ndichamusiya” kana kuti “Handisati ndichizotongobvumira chisimba chomuviri.”
Maria akawana mukana wekuchengeta mwana zuva rose, achivimbisa murume wake kubika chikafu kamwe chete pazuva, manheru.
6. Usaite gaslight
Gaslighting inzira yekushungurudza mupfungwa iyo narcissists vanowanzoita. Ivo vanofuratira chokwadi uye vanotsanangura yavo yekunyepedzera vhezheni yezviitiko, zvichiita kuti isu tikahadzikane isu uye maonero edu echokwadi. Kurwisa izvi, zvinobatsira kuchengeta diary.
Somuenzaniso, kana narcissist akaita nharo pamusoro pe "vasingaongi" hama panguva yezororo, unogona kunyora pamusoro pezvakaitika mubhuku rako. Mune ramangwana kana akatanga kutaura kuti hama idzi ndidzo dzakatanga kumutuka unenge wanyora humbowo hwezviitiko chaizvo.
Maria aipota achitarisa zvaakanyora, achizviongorora. Izvi zvakaita kuti ave nechivimbo chekukurukura nemurume wake.
7. Tsvaga mumwe munhu anokutsigira.
Kana murume wako kana mukadzi wako ari nzenza, zvakakosha kuti uwane mukana wekukurukura nezvematambudziko ewanano yako nemumwe munhu. Iyi inogona kunge iri shamwari yepedyo kana nyanzvi yepfungwa, asi kwete hama. Zvakakoshawo kuti asarambe achisangana nemumwe wako. Maria aiva neshamwari yaigara yakagadzirira kumuteerera uye kumutsigira.
Pasinei nemamiriro ekunze akaoma pakutanga kwekumanikidzwa kuvharirwa, nekufamba kwenguva, Maria akakwanisa kuvaka rhythm yehupenyu inoenderana naye. Akaona kuti nekunzwisisa kwaanoita hunhu hwekunyomba kwemurume wake, kuratidza kushoma kwehunhu hwake kunoomesa hupenyu hwake.
Nezve munyori: Kristin Hammond, psychotherapist.