Musi wa2 Nyamavhuvhu 2018, hanzvadzi nhatu dzechiKhachaturian, Maria ane makore 17, Angelina ane makore 18, naKrestina ane makore 19, vakasungwa nemhosva yekuuraya baba vavo, avo vakanga vavarova nokuvabata chibharo kwemakore. Chirongwa ichi, icho chichiri kuitika, chapatsanura nzanga nepakati: vamwe vanoda kurangwa kwakanyanya kuvasikana, vamwe vachichema kuti vanzwirwe tsitsi. Maonero eiyo systemic mhuri psychotherapist Marina Travkova.
Vatsigiri vavo nevatsigiri vavo vanoda kuti hanzvadzi idzi dzisunungurwe. Chikafu changu chizere nematauriro anofunga kubva kuvarume nevakadzi nezvekuti ticha "ruramisa kuuraya." Kuti “vaigona kutiza” kana akaseka. Iwe unogona sei kuvarega vachienda, uye kunyange kupa psycho rehabilitation.
Isu takaziva kwenguva yakareba kuti "sei vasingaende" mubvunzo usina kupindurwa. Kwete pakarepo uye kazhinji chete nerubatsiro rwekunze kana mushure me "shanga rekupedzisira", kana usina kurohwa, asi mwana wako, vakadzi vakura vane mhuri yakabudirira vanosiya vanobata chibharo: vabereki vane rudo uye kuzvimirira vasati varoorana.
Nokuti hazvibviri kutenda kuti munhu wako wepamwoyo, uyo akati anoda, anongoerekana ashanduka kuva uyo ane chibhakera chinobhururuka pachiso chako. Uye apo munhu akabatwa, mukuvhunduka, ari kutsvaga mhinduro kumubvunzo wekuti izvi zvingave zvakaitika sei kwaari zvachose, uyo anoshungurudza anodzoka uye anopa tsananguro inonyatsoenderana nemweya wakakuvadzwa: iwe pachako une mhosva, iwe wakaunza. ini pasi. Zvibate zvakasiyana uye zvese zvichanaka. Ngatiedze. Uye musungo unovhara.
Zvinoita sekuti munhu anenge abatwa ane lever, anongoda kuishandisa nemazvo. Uye zvakadaro, shure kwezvose, zvirongwa zvakajairika, zviroto, imba, zvikwereti uye vana. Vazhinji vanobata zvisina kufanira vanosununguka kana vakaziva kuti vakabatanidzwa zvakakwana. Uye, hongu, kune vanhu vakawanda vari pedyo avo vachapa "kugadzirisa" hukama. Kusanganisira, nhamo, psychologists.
"Varume vane manzwiro, vanoratidza kutsamwa nekuti havazive nzira yekuratidza kusagadzikana uye kusava nerubatsiro" - wakambosangana nazvo here? Maiwe, iko kutadza kuona kuti kuchengetedza hukama kunosanganisira, pamusoro pezvose, kuzvipira kumisa mhirizhonga. Uye kunyange kana paine kupopotedzana mune vakaroorana zvinogona kunzi zvinotsamwisa, mutoro wechibhakera pachiso nderemunhu anorova. Unogara nemukadzi anodenha kuti murohwe here? Ibva paari. Asi izvi hazvipembedzi kurohwa nekuponda. Tanga wamisa mhirizhonga, wozotevera zvimwe. Ndezvevakuru.
Unofunga kuti vana havana kunzwisisa kuti ndiani ane simba? Hauna kuona here kuti rubatsiro haruna kuuya uye haruuye?
Zvino isa mwana panzvimbo ino. Vatengi vazhinji vakandiudza kuti vakadzidza pazera ramakore manomwe, 7, 9, pavakatanga kuuya kuzoshanyira shamwari, kuti havafanirwe kupopota kana kurova mumhuri. Kureva kuti mwana anokura uye anofunga kuti zvakafanana kune wese. Iwe haugone kuzvinyengedza, zvinokuita kuti unzwe wakashata, asi iwe unofunga kuti zvakadaro kwese kwese, uye unodzidza kuchinjika. Kupona chete.
Kuti ugadzirise, unofanirwa kuzvipa iwe pachako, kubva pamanzwiro ako, izvo zvinodanidzira kuti izvi zvose hazvina kunaka. Kuparadzaniswa kunotanga. Wakambonzwa here mutsara kubva kuvanhu vakuru: "Hapana, vakandirova, asi ndakakura semunhu"? Ava ndivo vanhu vakaparadzanisa kutya kwavo, kurwadziwa kwavo, kutsamwa kwavo. Uye kazhinji (asi iyi haisi nyaya yeKhachaturian) mubati chibharo ndiye chete ane hanya newe. Inorova, inopfava. Uye kana pasina kwekuenda, iwe uchadzidza kuona zvakanaka uye kutsvaira zvakaipa pasi pekapeti. Asi, maiwe, hapana kwainoenda. Mune hope dzinotyisa, psychosomatics, kuzvikuvadza - kushungurudza.
Nyika "yakarurama": sei tichishora vakabatwa nechisimba?
Saka, mukadzi mukuru ane vabereki vane rudo vanoshamisa "munhoroondo", ane imwe nzvimbo yekuenda, haagoni kuita izvi pakarepo. Mukuru! Ndiani aive nehupenyu hwakasiyana! Hama neshamwari dzinomuudza kuti: "Enda." Unyanzvi hwakadaro hunogona sei kubva kamwe kamwe kubva kuvana vanokura, vanoona chisimba uye vanoedza kuchinjira kwachiri? Mumwe anonyora kuti pamufananidzo vanombundira baba vavo uye kunyemwerera. Ndinokuvimbisa, uye uchaita zvimwe chetezvo, kunyanya kana uchiziva kuti ukaramba, uchabhururuka. Kuzvichengetedza.
Uyezve, kumativi nzanga. Izvo, nekunyarara kana kutarisa kudivi, zvinojekesa kuti «iye pachake». Nyaya dzemhuri. Mai vevasikana vakanyora mashoko achishora murume wavo, uye hazvina kupera nechinhu. Unofunga kuti vana havana kunzwisisa kuti ndiani ane simba? Hauna kuona here kuti rubatsiro haruna kuuya uye haruuye?
Psychological rehabilitation munyaya iyi haisi yeumbozha, asi inodiwa zvachose.
Tsuro inomhanya kubva kumhumhi zvakanyanya sezvainogona, asi, inodzingwa mukona, inorova nemakumbo ayo. Kana ukarwiswa mumugwagwa nebanga, hautauri zvakakwirira, unozvidzivirira. Kana iwe ukarohwa uye uchibatwa chibharo zuva nezuva uye wakavimbisa kuita zvimwe chete mangwana, pachauya zuva apo «kutsvaira pasi pekapeti» kunenge kusingashande. Hapana kwaunoenda, nzanga yakatofuratira, munhu wose anotya baba vake, uye hapana anoshinga kuita nharo. Inoramba ichizvidzivirira. Nokudaro, nyaya iyi kwandiri ndeyekuzvidzivirira kuri pachena.
Psychological rehabilitation munyaya iyi haisi yeumbozha, asi inodiwa zvachose. Kutora hupenyu hwemumwe munhu chiito chinoshamisa. Akaparadzaniswa kwemakore akawanda, kurwadziwa nehasha zvakauya uye zvakavhara, uye munhu wacho aisakwanisa kurarama neizvi ari oga. Hapana mumwe wedu angadai akazviita.
Zvakafanana nemhare yadzoka kubva kunzvimbo yehondo: asi murwi aive nerunyararo, uyezve hondo. Vana ava vakakurira muhondo. Vachiri kuda kutenda hupenyu hune runyararo uye kudzidza nzira yekuhurarama nayo. Iri idambudziko rakakura rakasiyana. Iwe unotanga kunzwisisa kuti sei munyika dzakawanda vanoshungurudza vanomanikidzwa kuenda kumapoka ekubatsira pfungwa. Vazhinji vavo vakakurirawo "muhondo" uye havazivi kurarama "munyika." Asi chinetso ichi chinofanira kugadziriswa kwete nevavanorova, kwete nevadzimai vavo, uye kwete nevana vavo. Masangano ehurumende aive nenzira dzakawanda dzekuchengetedza hupenyu hwaKhachaturian.
Pakubvunzwa chikonzero nei ikoku kusina kuitika, zvichida kwakaipa zvikuru kupindura kupfuura kupa mhaka vana nokurayira kwavari nhamburiko dzoutsinye dzokuzviponesa. Mhinduro yechokwadi kumubvunzo uyu inotisiya tisina dziviriro uye tinotyisa. Uye "imhosva yake" inobatsira kutenda kuti waifanira kuzvibata zvakasiyana, uye hapana chaizoitika. Uye chii chatinosarudza?