Nyanzvi dzepfungwa nhasi dzinowanzotaura nezvenyaya dzokubatwa chibharo, kuzviuraya, kana kuti kutambudzwa munzvimbo dzokuvharirwa. Nhengo dzebasa rekubatsira dzinofanira kuita sei kana dzichikurukura nezvemhirizhonga? Maonero emhuri yepfungwa dzepfungwa Marina Travkova.
MuRussia, basa renyanzvi yepfungwa harina rezinesi. Mupfungwa, chero akapedza kudzidza pahunyanzvi hweyunivhesiti anogona kuzvidaidza kuti nyanzvi yepfungwa uye kushanda nevanhu. Zvemutemo muRussian Federation hapana chakavanzika chenyanzvi yepfungwa, senge chakavanzika chekurapa kana chegweta, hapana imwechete yetsika kodhi.
Zvikoro zvakasiyana siyana zvepsychotherapeutic uye nzira dzinogadzira makomiti ezvetsika, asi, sekutonga, zvinosanganisira nyanzvi dzinogara dzine hunhu hunoshanda, dzichiratidza nezvebasa ravo muhunyanzvi uye nezvebasa renyanzvi dzepfungwa muhupenyu hwevatengi uye nzanga.
Mamiriro ezvinhu akaitika umo pasina dhigirii resainzi renyanzvi yekubatsira, kana makumi emakore eruzivo runoshanda, kana basa, kunyangwe mumayunivhesiti akasarudzika enyika, anovimbisa anogamuchira rubatsiro rwepfungwa kuti nyanzvi yezvepfungwa ione zvaanofarira uye tsika.
Asi zvakadaro, zvakanga zvakaoma kufungidzira kuti kubatsira nyanzvi, nyanzvi dzepfungwa, vanhu vane maonero anoteererwa senyanzvi, vachabatana nemhosva yevatori vechikamu vezvikwata zvemoto zvinopesana nechisimba (semuenzaniso, #Handityi kutaura) manyepo, kuratidzira, chido chemukurumbira uye "mental exhibitionism". Izvi zvinotiita kuti tifunge kwete chete pamusoro pekusavapo kwenzvimbo yakafanana yehutsika, asiwo pamusoro pekusavapo kwekufungisisa kweunyanzvi nenzira yehutano hwemunhu uye kutarisira.
Chii chinonzi mhirizhonga?
Mhirizhonga, zvinosuruvarisa, inowanikwa munharaunda ipi zvayo. Asi maonero anoita nzanga pazviri anosiyana. Isu tinogara munyika ine "tsika yemhirizhonga" inokurudzirwa nemaitiro echikadzi, ngano uye zvechinyakare zvinopomera munhu akabatwa uye kupembedza ane simba. Tinogona kutaura kuti iyi inzira yemagariro evanhu vane mukurumbira we "Stockholm syndrome", apo munhu anenge abatwa chibharo anoonekwa nemubati chibharo, kuti arege kunzwa ari mungozi, kuti arege kuva pakati pevaya vanogona kunyadziswa uye kutsikwa-tsikwa.
Maererano nenhamba, muRussia maminitsi makumi maviri ega ega mumwe munhu anobatwa nechisimba mudzimba. Panyaya gumi dzemhirizhonga yepabonde, gumi-20% chete yevakabatwa vanoenda kumapurisa, uye mumwe chete pavashanu mapurisa anotambira chirevo.1. Mubati chibharo kazhinji kazhinji haana mutoro upi noupi. Vanotambudzwa vanorarama kwemakore mukunyarara uye kutya.
Mhirizhonga haisi kungokanganisa muviri chete. Iyi ndiyo nzvimbo iyo mumwe munhu anoti kune mumwe: "Ndine kodzero yekuita chimwe chinhu newe, ndisingateereri kuda kwako." Iyi meta-meta: "Iwe hausi munhu, uye manzwiro aunoita uye zvaunoda hazvina kukosha."
Mhirizhonga haisi yemuviri chete (kurohwa), asiwo manzwiro (kunyadziswa, kutuka nemashoko) uye zvehupfumi: somuenzaniso, kana iwe ukamanikidza munhu akapindwa muropa kuti akumbire mari kunyange nokuda kwezvinhu zvakakosha.
Kana iyo psychotherapist akazvibvumira kutora chinzvimbo che "pachake kuzvipa mhosva", anotyora kodhi yehutsika.
Kushungurudzwa kwepabonde kunowanzofukidzwa nechifukidziro cherudo, apo munhu anenge abatwa achinzi akanyanya kukwezva pabonde, uye mutadzi ari kuputika kunoshamisa kwerudo. Asi hazvisi zvechido, asi nezvesimba reumwe munhu pamusoro peumwe. Mhirizhonga ndiko kugutsikana kwezvido zvemubati chibharo, kubvutwa kwesimba.
Mhirizhonga inoita kuti munhu anenge ashungurudzwa asave munhu. Munhu anonzwa pachake kuva chinhu, chinhu, chinhu. Anotorerwa kuda kwake, kukwanisa kudzora muviri wake, hupenyu hwake. Mhirizhonga inogura munhu abatwa nenyika ichimusiya ega, nekuti kutaura zvinhu zvakadaro kunonetsa, asi kumuudza pasina kutongwa.
Ko chiremba wepfungwa anofanira kuita sei kunhau yemunhu akabatwa?
Kana nyajambwa wechisimba akasarudza kutaura pamusoro pechakaitika pakugadzwa kwenyanzvi yendangariro, ipapo kushora, kusadavira, kana kuti: “Wakandirwadzisa nenhau yako” itsotsi, nokuti inogona kuunza kukuvadza kwakatowanda. Kana munhu akabatwa nechisimba afunga kutaura munzvimbo yeruzhinji, izvo zvinoda kushinga, zvino kumupomera zvekufungidzira uye nhema kana kumutyisidzira nekudzoreredza hakuna basa.
Heano mamwe magwaro anotsanangura maitiro ehunyanzvi enyanzvi anobatsira mumamiriro ezvinhu akadai.
1. Anotenda munyajambwa. Haazviiti shasha yehupenyu hweumwe munhu, Jehovha Mwari, muongorori, mubvunzurudzo, basa rake harisi izvo. Kuwirirana uye kunzwisisika kwenyaya yeakabatwa inyaya yekuferefeta, kupomerwa mhosva uye kudzivirira. Nyanzvi yepfungwa inoita chimwe chinhu icho kunyange vanhu vepedyo kune akabatwa vangave vasina kuita: anotenda pakarepo uye pasina mamiriro. Inotsigira nekukurumidza uye pasina mamiriro. Anokweretesa ruoko rwekubatsira - nekukurumidza.
2. Haana mhosva. Haasi Holy Inquisition, hunhu hwemunhu akabatwa harisi bhizinesi rake. Tsika dzake, sarudzo dzehupenyu, mapfekero nekusarudza shamwari harisi basa rake. Basa rake nderekutsigira. Nyanzvi yepfungwa hapana mamiriro ezvinhu anofanira kutepfenyura kune akabatwa: "iye ane mhosva."
Kune nyanzvi yezvepfungwa, chete zviitiko zvemukati zvemunhu akabatwa, kuongorora kwake kwakakosha.
3. Haaregi kutya. Usaviga musoro wako mujecha. Haadziviriri mufananidzo wake we "nyika yakarurama", achipomera uye achizvidza akabatwa nechisimba uye zvakaitika kwaari. Uyewo haawire mumatambudziko ake, nokuti mutengi wacho zvichida akatoona munhu mukuru asingagoni kuzvidzivirira akatya zvikuru nezvaakanzwa zvokuti akasarudza kusazvitenda.
4. Anoremekedza zvaanenge asarudza kutaura. Haaudze munhu akabatwa kuti nyaya yake yakasviba zvekuti ane kodzero yekunzwika chete mumamiriro ezvinhu asina kuchena ehofisi yega. Hazvimusarudziri kuti angawedzera sei kushungurudzika kwake nekutaura nezvazvo. Hazviiti kuti munhu akabatwa ane mhosva yekusagadzikana kwevamwe vanozoona zvakaoma kana kunetsa kunzwa kana kuverenga nyaya yake. Izvi zvakatotyisa mubati wake chibharo. Izvi uye chokwadi chokuti acharasikirwa nokuremekedzwa nevamwe kana ataura. Kana kuvakuvadza.
5. Haaongi kukura kwekutambura kweanotambudzwa. Hukuru hwekurohwa kana kuwanda kwezvikamu zvemhirizhonga ndiyo kodzero yemuongorori. Kune wezvepfungwa, chete zviitiko zvemukati zvemunhu akabatwa, ongororo yake, yakakosha.
6. Haafone anotambura nechisimba chemumba muzita rezvitendero zvechitendero kana kubva kune pfungwa yekuchengetedza mhuri, haamanikidzi kuda kwake uye haapi zano, iro raasina mhosva, asi akabatwa nechisimba.
Pane nzira imwe chete yekudzivisa mhirizhonga: kumisa mubati chibharo pachake
7. Haapi mabikirwo enzira yekudzivirira mhirizhonga. Haagutsi kuda kwake kusingaite nekutsvaga ruzivo rusingatombodikanwa kupa rubatsiro. Haapi munhu akabatwa kuti aratidze maitiro ake kumapfupa, kuitira kuti izvi zvirege kuitika kwaari zvakare. Haafuridzire akabatwa nepfungwa uye haatsigire zvakadaro, kana iye akabatwa aine icho, kuti maitiro emubati chibharo anotsamira paari.
Haatauri nezvehudiki hwake hwakaoma kana sangano remweya rakajeka. Pamusoro pezvikanganiso zvedzidzo kana pesvedzero inokuvadza yemhoteredzo. Munhu anenge abatwa chibharo haafanire kuve nemhosva kune anoshungurudza. Pane nzira imwe chete yekudzivisa mhirizhonga: kumisa mubati chibharo pachake.
8. Anoyeuka izvo basa racho rinomusungirira kuita. Anotarisirwa kubatsira uye kuva neruzivo rwenyanzvi. Anonzwisisa kuti shoko rake, kunyange rakataurwa kwete mukati memadziro ehofisi, asi munzvimbo yeruzhinji, rinobata vose vakabatwa nechisimba uye avo vanoda kuvhara maziso avo, kuvhara nzeve dzavo uye vanotenda kuti vakaurayiwa vakazviita zvose, izvo ivo pachavo vane mhosva.
Kana iyo psychotherapist achizvibvumira kutora chinzvimbo che "pachake ane mhosva", anotyora kodhi yehutsika. Kana psychotherapist akazvibata pane imwe yemapoinzi ari pamusoro, anoda kurapwa ega uye / kana kutariswa. Uyezve, kana izvi zvikaitika, zvinozvidza vese vepfungwa uye zvinokanganisa nheyo dzebasa. Ichi chinhu chisingafaniri kuva.
1 Ruzivo kubva kuIyo Yakazvimiririra Charitable Center Yerubatsiro kune Vakapona Mhirizhonga Dzepabonde «Sisters», sisters-help.ru.