Mukati
- 1. Vanokumbira vana kuti vaite basa repamba.
- 2. Vanoteerera unyanzvi hwemagariro evana
- 3. Vanoisa bhawa kumusoro
- 4. Vane hukama hwakanaka pakati pavo
- 5. Vanotungamira nemuenzaniso.
- 6. Vanodzidzisa masvomhu nokukurumidza
- 7. Vanovaka kuvimba nevana vavo.
- 8. Havagari mukushushikana nguva dzose.
- 9. Vane "kukura pfungwa"
Tese tinoshuva kurera vana vakabudirira. Asi hapana nzira imwe chete yedzidzo. Iye zvino tinogona kutaura zvinofanira kuitwa kuti mwana awane kukwirira muupenyu.
Kurumbidza kana kushora? Ronga zuva rake neminiti kana kumupa rusununguko rwakakwana? Kumanikidza kurovera sainzi chaiyo kana kukudziridza hunyanzvi hwekugadzira? Tose tinotya kurasikirwa nevabereki. Kutsvakurudza kuchangobva kuitwa nenyanzvi dzepfungwa kwakaratidza unhu hunoverengeka hunozivikanwa muvabereki vane vana vakabudirira. Vabereki vemangwana mamirioni nevatungamiriri vanoita sei?
1. Vanokumbira vana kuti vaite basa repamba.
“Kana vana vakasasuka ndiro, mumwe munhu anofanira kuvagadzirira,” anodaro Julie Litcott-Hames, aimbove dhian paStanford University uye munyori webhuku rinonzi Let Them Go: How to Prepare Children for Adulthood ( MYTH, 2017). )
“Kana vana vakasunungurwa kubva kuhomework zvinoreva kuti havanzwisisike kuti basa iri rinoda kuitwa,” vanodaro. Vana vanobatsira vabereki vavo pamba vanoita kuti pave nevashandi vanonzwira tsitsi uye vanoshandira pamwe vanokwanisa kuita basa.
Julie Litcott-Hames anotenda kuti nokukurumidza iwe unodzidzisa mwana kushanda, zviri nani kwaari - izvi zvichapa vana pfungwa yokuti kurarama wakazvimiririra kunoreva, kutanga kune zvose, kukwanisa kuzvishandira uye kugadzirira hupenyu hwako.
Vana vane "social intelligence" yakagadziridzwa - kureva, avo vanonzwisisa manzwiro evamwe zvakanaka, vanokwanisa kugadzirisa kusawirirana uye kushanda muboka - kazhinji vanowana dzidzo yakanaka uye mabasa enguva yakazara pazera remakore 25. Izvi zvinoratidzwa nechidzidzo cheYunivhesiti yePennsylvania neDuke University, chakaitwa kwemakore makumi maviri.
Tarisiro dzakakwirira dzevabereki dzinoita kuti vana vaedze zvikuru kurarama maererano nadzo.
Mukupesana, vana vaiva nounyanzvi hwomunzanga hwakanga husina kukudziridzwa vangangosungwa, vakanga vakakombamira kukudhakwa, uye kwakanga kwakaoma zvikuru kuti vawane basa.
“Rimwe rebasa guru revabereki kudzidzisa mumwana wavo unyanzvi hwokukurukurirana uye kuzvibata munzanga,” anodaro munyori wekuongorora anonzi Christine Schubert. “Mumhuri dzine hanya zvikuru nenyaya iyi, vana vanokura vakagadzikana mupfungwa uye vanopona nyore nyore matambudziko okukura.”
3. Vanoisa bhawa kumusoro
Zvinotarisirwa nevabereki ikurudziro ine simba kuvana. Izvi zvinoratidzwa nekuongororwa kwedata reongororo, iyo yakabata vana vanopfuura zviuru zvitanhatu muUnited States. “Vabereki vaifanotaura nezveramangwana rakanaka revana vavo vakaita nhamburiko dzakawanda dzokuona kuti tarisiro iyi yakaitika,” vanyori vefundo yacho vanodaro.
Zvichida iyo inonzi "Pygmalion effect" inoitawo basa: tarisiro huru yevabereki inoita kuti vana vaedze zvakanyanya kurarama maererano nazvo.
4. Vane hukama hwakanaka pakati pavo
Vana vari mumhuri umo kupopotedzana kunoitika miniti yega yega vanokura vasina kubudirira kupfuura vezera ravo vanobva kumhuri uko itsika kuremekedzana nekuteererana. Mhedziso iyi yakaitwa nenyanzvi dzepfungwa kubva kuYunivhesiti yeIllinois (USA).
Panguva imwe cheteyo, mhoteredzo isina kukakavara yakazova chinhu chinokosha zvikuru kupfuura mhuri yakazara: vanaamai vasina varume vakarera vana vavo murudo nokutarisira, vana vaiwanzobudirira.
Imwe nzvero yakaratidza kuti kana baba vakarambana vachiona vana vavo kazhinji kazhinji ndokuchengeta ukama hwakanaka naamai vavo, vana vanoita zviri nani. Asi kana kusawirirana kunopfuurira muukama hwevabereki pashure pokurambana, izvi zvinokanganisa mwana wacho.
5. Vanotungamira nemuenzaniso.
Vanaamai vanova nepamuviri vachiri kuyaruka (vasati vasvitsa makore 18) vane mikana yakawanda yokurega chikoro vorega kuenderera mberi nedzidzo yavo.
Kubata kwekutanga kwemasvomhu kunofanosarudzira kubudirira kweramangwana kwete chete mune chaiyo sainzi, asiwo mukuverenga.
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Eric Dubov akawana kuti mwero wedzidzo wevabereki panguva yemakore masere emwana unogona kunyatsofanotaura kuti achabudirira sei muunyanzvi mumakore makumi mana.
6. Vanodzidzisa masvomhu nokukurumidza
Muna 2007, ongororo yedata kubva kuvana 35 vekireshi muUS, Canada, uye UK yakaratidza kuti vadzidzi ivavo vakange vatoziva masvomhu panguva yavakapinda chikoro vakaratidza zvibereko zviri nani mune ramangwana.
“Kukurumidza kuverenga, masvomhu uye pfungwa dzinosarudza kubudirira mune ramangwana kwete chete musainzi chaidzo, asiwo pakuverenga,” anodaro Greg Duncan, munyori weongororo iyi. "Izvi zvakabatana nei, hazvisati zvaita kutaura chokwadi."
7. Vanovaka kuvimba nevana vavo.
Sensitivity uye kugona kumisa kushamwaridzana kwepamoyo nemwana, kunyanya achiri mudiki, kwakakosha zvakanyanya kune hupenyu hwake hwese hwemangwana. Mhedziso iyi yakaitwa nenyanzvi dzepfungwa kubva kuYunivhesiti yeMinnesota (USA). Vakaona kuti avo vakaberekerwa muurombo uye muurombo vanowana kubudirira kukuru mune zvedzidzo kana vakakurira mumhepo yerudo nekudziya.
Kana vabereki “vanopindura zviratidzo zvemwana nokukurumidza uye zvakakwana” uye vachiva nechokwadi chokuti mwana anokwanisa kuongorora nyika zvakachengeteka, zvinogona kutotsiva zvinhu zvisina kunaka zvakadai semhoteredzo isingashande uye mwero wakaderera wedzidzo, akadaro nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Lee Raby, mumwe. yevanyori vechidzidzo.
8. Havagari mukushushikana nguva dzose.
“Vanaamai vanofanira kuita chipatapata pakati pevana voshanda “vanokanganisa” vana nokufunganya kwavo,” inodaro nyanzvi yezvemagariro evanhu Kei Nomaguchi. Akadzidza kuti nguva inopedzwa nevabereki nevana inokanganisa sei kugara kwavo zvakanaka uye kubudirira kwavo mune ramangwana. Zvakazoitika kuti munyaya iyi, kwete nguva yakawanda, asi hutano hunonyanya kukosha.
Imwe yenzira dzechokwadi dzekufanotaura kuti mwana achabudirira here muhupenyu ndeyekutarisa maonerwo aanoita zvikonzero zvekubudirira nekukundikana.
Kunyanya, kuvharidzira kutarisira kunogona kukuvadza sekuregeredza, anosimbisa Kei Nomaguchi. Vabereki vanotsvaka kudzivirira mwana pangozi havamubvumiri kuita zvisarudzo uye kuwana ruzivo rwake rwoupenyu.
9. Vane "kukura pfungwa"
Imwe nzira yechokwadi yokufanotaura kana mwana achizobudirira muupenyu ndeyokuona kuti anoongorora sei zvikonzero zvokubudirira nokukundikana.
Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck anosiyanisa pakati peyakagadziriswa pfungwa uye yekukura pfungwa. Yokutanga inoratidzirwa nekutenda kuti miganhu yezvatinogona yakagadzwa kubva pakutanga uye isu hatigone kuchinja chero chinhu. Chechipiri, kuti tinogona kuwana zvakawanda nekuedza.
Kana vabereki vakaudza mwana mumwe kuti ane tarenda rekuzvarwa, uye mumwe kuti "akanyimwa" nemasikirwo, izvi zvinogona kukuvadza vese. Wokutanga achafunganya upenyu hwake hwose nokuda kwemigumisiro isina kunaka, achitya kurasikirwa nechipo chake chinokosha, uye wechipiri angaramba kushanda paari zvachose, nokuti “haugoni kushandura zvisikwa.”