Mukati
Zvichida vaviri vakaroorana vanopinda muchikamu ichi: zvinhu zvose zvakanaka muukama, asi kune zvishoma zvepabonde. Dzimwe nguva mamiriro ezvinhu aya anokodzera muchivande vanobatana. Uye zvinoitika kuti munhu anoramba asina kugutsikana. Sei usingadi zvepabonde uye chii chinoderedza chido chepabonde?
Kuti ugadzirise dambudziko, unofanira kutanga waona chikonzero chacho. Chokwadi, kune akawanda anopfuura mashanu. Kuita zvepabonde kunokanganiswa nemamiriro ehutano, uye kusawirirana kwebiorhythms, uye chero kusawirirana mune vakaroorana. Uye vamwe vakadzi, kunyange nhasi, vari pasi pekunyengera kuti havafanirwe kunakidzwa nepabonde, uye saka vanoitora sebasa.
Uye zvakadaro zvikonzero zvinowanzoitika, maererano nekucherechedza kwevanachiremba vemhuri, ndezvizvi zvinotevera:
1. Kushungurudzika
Mamiriro ezvinhu anogara achinetsa anoderedza kuumbwa kwe testosterone, hormone inoenderana nechishuwo chepabonde. Zvakare, iyo biochemical inopindura kushushikana kunosanganisira kuburitswa kwecortisol (anxiety hormone) uye adrenaline. Iyo yekupedzisira inogadzirira muviri kuti utsungirire mamiriro ezvinhu akaoma nekusimudza shuga yeropa uye BP yekupisa tsandanyama nehuropi.
Nekudaro, muhupenyu hwakajairika isu hatidi zvese izvi. Ndicho chikonzero mushure memamiriro ekudzvinyirira tinonzwa kuneta kwakasimba. Kusvirwa nerudziiko kana uchingoda kuwira mumagumbeze wokotsira? Kushaya nguva dzose kwekurara kunokanganisawo hupenyu hwepabonde kwete nenzira yakanakisisa.
Zvinoita kuti tisava nehanya nekukurudzira kunofadza kwakadai sekupuruzira.
Kuti ubvise zvikonzero izvi, zvinodikanwa kutora mwero wekushushikana pasi pekutonga uye kukunda kushaya hope. Unogona kutanga nemutemo wakapusa: usatarise email yebasa rako uye usatarise nhau usati warara.
Uye bonde ndiyo nzira yakanakisa yekuburitsa mhedzisiro yekushushikana. Mushure mezvose, patinowanzoita rudo, iyo yakawanda endorphins uye oxytocin iri mumuviri - mahomoni emufaro uye rudo.
2. Kudya zvisina kukodzera
Ichi ndicho chikonzero chakanyanya chebhanari chekuderera kwekuita zvepabonde. Kuwedzera uremu kwakakosha kune kukanganisa kwekushanda kwemidziyo yeropa, kusanganisira munzvimbo yepabonde, iyo inokanganisa kunzwisisika kwavo.
Chisvusvuro chemanheru chinogonawo kukanganisa chero mikana yehusiku hwerudo. Masimba ese emuviri achaenda pakugaya chikafu. Uye chikafu chine mafuta chinokonzerawo kunzwa kuremerwa uye kurara.
Nokudaro, zviri nani kudya kudya kwemanheru mangwanani uye kudya kwakareruka - saladi yemiriwo, hove uye hove.
Zvakakodzera kutaura mashoko mashomanana pamusoro pedoro. Kusiyana nemafungiro evanhu, doro rakawanda hariwedzere libido, asi rinouraya. Kunwa doro zvisina kunaka kunokanganisa magumo etsinga ayo anokonzera erections muvarume uye clitoral sensitivity muvakadzi.
3. Kusazviremekedza
Kuzviona kwakashata kunoita kuti munhu asungirwe uye azivikanwe, haabvumire kuzorora. Kana zvichiita kwauri kuti haugone kufarira chero munhu pabonde, saka izvi zvinoderedza kufarira kwako mukuita pachako.
Nokudaro, unofanira kurega kuisa pfungwa pazvikanganiso zvako pachako. Upenyu hwepabonde hunoshingaira hausi chete varidzi vemuviri wakakwana.
Rega kufunga nezvekuwedzera masendimita pachiuno, funga nezvehump pamhino kana maburi kumashure. Zvida iwe, unzwe wakasununguka. Chigumisiro hachizoiti kuti urambe wakamirira. Kana iwe usingakwanise kuzviita iwe pachako, unogona kusaina kudzidzira kuzviremekedza kana kubvunzana nenyanzvi.
4. Kushaya mafungiro
Ongororo dzinoratidza kuti vakadzi vanoda nguva yakawanda yekunzwa kuda zvepabonde. Kashoma kudarika vamiririri vehafu yakanaka yevanhu kamwe kamwe. Uye kazhinji vanoramba kupihwa kwemudiwa, kwete nekuti havadi bonde zvachose, asi nekuti ivo havasati vanzwa chido.
Varume, kune rumwe rutivi, vanowanzoona kurambwa sokusada kwomudiwa wake kuita rudo zvachose. Kwavari, izvi zvinogona kureva: "Haachandidi."
Zvese izvi zvinotungamira mukudzikira kwekusangana pabonde mune vaviri.
Zvingori muropa kuti hatigone kushuvira kushamwaridzana chero mudiwa ari muchimiro. Zvisinei, funga kuti chii chingachinja chisarudzo chako.
Tsanangurira mumwe wako kukosha kwekufanotaura kwauri, magwaro erudo mukati mezuva, kutsvoda kwenguva refu mushure mekudzoka kubva kubasa, zvinyoro-nyoro, zvinofungidzirwa zvenguva dzose, kubata paunenge uchigadzirira kudya kwemanheru, uye mamwe maitiro ezvepabonde.
Funga pamusoro pezvinokuita iwe. Pamwe bhaisikopo nemutambi waunofarira? Sensual massage? Zuva mune inotonhorera cafe? Zvibatsire kugadzirisa mafungiro epabonde.
5. Iwe hauzive zvaunoda
Vakadzi vazhinji havazive kuti ndechipi chinzvimbo chavanogona kuita orgasm, vangave vachifarira kutsvoda panguva yebonde, uye chii chinovatenderedza pamubhedha. Vamwe vanhu havatombofungi nezvezvinhu izvi.
Vamwe, pane kudaro, vakarota kwenguva refu kuti mumwe wavo, somuenzaniso, akavaisa mumaoko pamubhedha, asi vanonyara kutaura kudaro. Uye izvi, zvechokwadi, hazvibatsiri hupenyu hwepabonde.
Ngatidhirowei kufambirana kuri nyore. Iwe unoziva zvaunofarira zvekubika uye haungadyi tuna tartare kana iwe usingakwanise kumira hove mbishi. Saka kana mumwe wako achizobika ndiro iyi yekudya kwemanheru, iwe unomunyevera, uye anogona kuchinja menyu.
Saka sei tichizvibata zvakasiyana panyaya yebonde?
Kana bonde risingaunzi mufaro, pakupedzisira chido chacho chinopera. Funga zvingakufadza. Nokuda kweizvi, nenzira, zvinobatsira kutarisa zvinonyadzisira uye kukurukura zvaunoona nemumwe wako.
usatya kuti achakutonga. Bonde ngarirege kuva nyaya yechivanhu. Usatya kuchiva kwemuviri wako. Kurukurai dambudziko uye itai zvose kuti mashoko asasiyane nezviito.
NezveMunyori: Sarah Hunter Murray iPsychologist, Couples Therapist uye Sexual Relations Nyanzvi yeAmerican Association of Marriage uye Family Therapists.