Kurambana hakupedzi hukama newakamboramba achikanganisa hupenyu hwako, achizvibata zvisingatarisirwi uye zvisina hunhu. Haana hunhu, anodzvanya, anotuka, anomanikidza kushandura sarudzo uye zvirongwa. Nzira yekuita sei mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro? Chii chaunofanira kuita kuti urege kurwisana newe?
Aimbova murume akatumira Natalia meseji yaive nekutuka uye kutyisidzira hupenyu hwake. Saka akabvuma kuramba kuchinja purogiramu yemisangano yake nemwanakomana wake. Yakanga isiri nguva yekutanga yaakamutyisidzira - kazhinji akatanga kurwisa pamusangano, kana asingakwanisi kuisa kumanikidza mune dzimwe nzira.
Asi panguva ino kutyisidzira kwakarekodhwa parunhare, uye Natalya akaratidza mashoko acho kumapurisa. Mukupindura, murume akatsvaga gweta ndokuti aimbova mudzimai ndiye akatanga kumutyisidzira. Ndaifanira kupinda muhondo yaakasunungura. Matare, magweta aida mari, kutaurirana neaichimbova mukwanyina kwainetesa. Natalya akanga aneta, aida kumbozorora. Akanga achitsvaka nzira yokuzvidzivirira nayo, kuderedza kukurukura naye pasina kupindira kwedare nemapurisa.
Matanho manomwe ari nyore akabatsira kuisa aimbova murume wake panzvimbo yake.
1. Sarudza kuti sei uri murudo
Natalya aitya murume wake wekare, asi aifanira kutaurirana naye, nokuti vakanga vakabatana nemwanawo zvake, yekare yakafanana. Asi pakukurukura nyaya nezvinetso, aiwanzotendeukira kumunhu, akayeuka zvichemo zvekare, kutukwa, kutungamirirwa kubva pahurukuro.
“Pose paunosangana nemunhu, zviyeuchidze kuti nei uri kuonana naye. Muchiitiko chimwe nechimwe, zvakakodzera kumisa mimwe miganhu uye kunyatsoomerera kwairi, "anopa zano nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Christine Hammond.
2. Gadza miganhu
Kubudirana pachena uye kutendeseka muhukama kunokwanisika chete kana iwe uchinzwa wakachengeteka. Mumamiriro ekukakavadzana, pane zvinopesana, zvakakosha kumisa miganhu yakaoma uye kuidzivirira, zvisinei kuti waimbova shamwari yake anopikisa sei.
"Usatya kuisa miganhu, semuenzaniso, kuramba kutaurirana, misangano yemunhu, kurukura nezvebhizinesi mumeseji. Hazvina kufanira kutsanangura zvikonzero, zvakakwana kungoisa murwi pamberi pechokwadi, "anodaro Christine Hammond.
3. Bvuma kuti ex wako haachinji.
Chokwadi, hatitarisiri rudo uye kunzwisisa kumunhu ane ngozi uye ane hasha. Zvisinei, Natalya aitarisira kuti kana akabvuma zvaidiwa nomurume wake, aizorega kumutuka. Asi izvi hazvina kuitika. Aifanira kufungazve zvaaitarisira. Akaona kuti aisagona kuchinja hunhu hwake nenzira ipi zvayo uye akanga asina mhosva kwaari.
Zvidzivirire
Zvinogara zvichirwadza kuona kuti taivimba nemunhu asiri iye. Asi hazvirevi kuti hatigoni kuzvidzivirira. Kuti azvivanze kubva pakutsamwa uye hutsinye hweaichimbova shamwari yake, Natalya akatanga kufungidzira kuti hutsinye hwake uye kutuka kwaiita sekunge kwakamuputira pasina kukuvadza.
5. "Edza" ex wako
Kare, apo aimbova murume akazvibata norugare kwenguva yakati, Natalya akatanga kutenda kuti izvi zvaizogara zvakadaro, uye nguva imwe neimwe akanganisa. Nokufamba kwenguva, akadzidziswa nechiitiko chinorwadza, akatanga “kumuedza”. Somuenzaniso, akamuudza chimwe chinhu ndokutarisa kana aizoshandisa zvisina kufanira chivimbo chake. Ndakaverenga mameseji ake pasocial network kuti ndizive pachine nguva kuti ari papi uye kugadzirira kutaura naye.
6. Usakurumidza
Natalya akaganhurira nguva yekurukurirano nokuronga runhare pamusoro pomwana pachine nguva. Kana musangano womunhu oga waisagona kudziviswa, aienda neimwe yeshamwari dzake kana kuti hama dzokunyama. Akanga asisamhanyi kupindura kune mameseji nezvikumbiro zvake, uye akanyatsofunga nezvese izwi nechisarudzo.
7. Gadzira mitemo yekukurukurirana
Paunenge uchibata nemunhu ane hasha, nguva dzose unofanira kunyatsoomerera pane zvaunenge wamuisira. Kana mumwe wako asina hunhu uye achikwidza inzwi, chimbomira kutaura. Apo aimbova murume waNatalya akatanga kumutuka, akanyora kuti: “tichataura gare gare.” Kana asina kusimuka akabva adzima foni.
Uyu muenzaniso wekugadzirisa maitiro. Kune "akanaka" munhu anogamuchira mubairo - vanoenderera mberi nehurukuro naye. Nokuti "zvakaipa" zvinomirira "kurangwa" - kutaurirana pakarepo kunomira. Mune zvimwe zviitiko, Natalya akaratidza mameseji omurume wake kune imwe yeshamwari dzake kana hama dzokunyama uye achivakumbira kuti vamupindure.
Kubva paakatanga kushandisa nzira nomwe kuti azvidzivirire pakurwiswa, ukama hwake neaichimbova murume wake hwakavandudzika. Dzimwe nguva akatora zvakare yekare, asi Natalya akanga akagadzirira izvi. Nokufamba kwenguva, akaona kuti akanga asingachakwanisi kushandisa Natalia uye kuita zvaaida nerubatsiro rwekutuka. Pakanga pasisina zvehasha zvino.
Nezve Nyanzvi: Kristin Hammond inyanzvi yezvepfungwa, nyanzvi yekunetsana kwemhuri, uye munyori weThe Exhausted Woman's Handbook (Xulon Press, 2014).