Zvaimboitika kuti hupenyu hunoguma nekutanga kwekurega basa - munhu akarega kudiwa munzanga uye, zvakanakisisa, akazvipira hupenyu hwake kuvana nevazukuru. Zvisinei, iye zvino zvinhu zvose zvachinja. Kuchembera kunovhura horizons nyowani, anodaro psychotherapist Varvara Sidorova.
Tava munguva inofadza. Vanhu vakatanga kurarama kwenguva refu, vanonzwa zviri nani. Hupenyu huzhinji hwakakwirira, saka kune mikana yakawanda uye yakawanda yekuzviponesa kubva kumabasa asingakoshi emuviri, tine nguva yekusununguka.
Maonero ezera anotsamira pazvinokarirwa izvo nzanga inoratidzika kuva inayo. Hapana chimiro chebiologically chakarurama pamusoro pako pazera ripi zvaro. Nhasi, vakawanda vane makore 50 okukura vanoronga kurarama mamwe makore 20, 30. Uye nguva isingatarisirwi inoumbwa muupenyu hwomunhu, apo zvinoratidzika kuti mabasa ose ehupenyu akatopedzwa, asi kuchine nguva yakawanda.
Ndinoyeuka nguva apo vanhu vakasiya basa mushure mekushanda zvakafanira (vakadzi pa55, varume pa60) nekunzwa kuti hupenyu hwakanga hwapera kana kuti hwapera. Patova nerunyararo rwakadaro, rwakadzikama, sokudanwa kwainoitwa zviri pamutemo, nguva yokurarama.
Uye ndinorangarira zvakanaka kuti murume ane makore makumi mashanu muhuduku hwangu akanga ari chisikwa chakura zvikuru chine dumbu, uye kwete bedzi nemhaka yokuti ndakanga ndiri muduku. Anoremekedzeka, anoverenga pepanhau, anogara munyika kana kuti ari kuita zvinhu zvinonyadzisa. Hapana aitarisira kuti murume pa50, semuenzaniso, aizomhanya. Zvaizoratidza kushamisa.
Kunyange mutorwa akanga ari mukadzi ari mumakore ake okuma50 akasarudza kupinda mumitambo kana kuti kuenda kundotamba. Sarudzo yekuti pa40 unogona kuita vana haina kana kutariswa. Uyezve, ndinoyeuka kurukurirano dzeimwe shamwari: “Zvinonyadzisa zvikuru, akabereka pazera ramakore 42.”
Paiva nemafungiro akadaro evanhu zvokuti chikamu chechipiri chehupenyu chinofanira kunyarara, kuti munhu haafaniri kuva nezvido zvakakosha. Akararama hupenyu hwake zvakanaka, sezvavanotaura, uye iye zvino ari mumapapiro echizvarwa chinoshingaira, achibatsira nebasa reimba. Ane mifarwawo zvayo ine rugare, nokuti munhu akwegura ane simba shoma, zvishuvo zvishoma. Anorarama.
Murume wemazuva ano wemakumi mashanu anonzwa zvakanaka, ane simba rakawanda. Vamwe vane vana vadiki. Zvino munhu wacho ari pamharadzano yenzira. Pane chimwe chinhu chakadzidziswa sekuru nasekuru: kurarama kunze. Pane chimwe chinhu chinodzidziswa netsika dzemazuva ano — iva mudiki nekusingaperi.
Uye kana iwe ukatarisa kushambadzira, semuenzaniso, iwe unogona kuona kuti kuchembera kuri kusiya hukuru hwekuziva. Iko hakuna chimiro chakanaka uye chakanaka chekukwegura mukushambadzira. Tose tinoyeuka kubva mungano kuti kwaiva nechembere dzakasununguka, varume vakuru vakachenjera. Zvose zvaenda.
Mukati chete ikozvino mune ruzivo rwekuita, kuronga hupenyu hutsva uhu iwe pachako.
Zvinogona kuonekwa sei, pasi pekumanikidzwa kwekuchinja kwemamiriro ezvinhu, mufananidzo wekare wekukwegura wakasvibiswa. Uye vanhu vava kupinda muzera iri vari kufamba paminda yemhandara. Pamberi pavo, hapana akanga apfuura munda unoshamisa uyu. Kana paine masimba, pane mikana, hapana zvisungo, hapana zvinotarisirwa munharaunda. Iwe unozviwana uri mumunda, uye kune vakawanda zvinotyisa.
Kana zvichityisa, tinoedza kutsvaga kumwe kutsigirwa, mazano isu pachedu. Chinhu chakareruka kutora chimwe chinhu chakagadzirirwa-chakagadzirwa: ingave chiripo, kana kutora muenzaniso wehunhu hwevadiki husina kukwana, nekuti ruzivo rwakasiyana, zvishuwo zvakasiyana ... Uye chii chakanaka kuda uye chii chiri zvakanaka kukwanisa pazera iri, hapana anoziva.
Ndaive nenyaya inonakidza. Mumwe mukadzi ane makore 64 akauya kwandiri, akasangana nerudo rwechikoro, uye mushure memakore matatu ekudanana, vakasarudza kuroora zvakadaro. Zvakanga zvisingatarisirwi, akatarisana nechokwadi chokuti vakawanda vanomushora. Uyezve, shamwari dzake dzakamuudza chaizvoizvo kuti: “Yasvika nguva yokuti ufunge nezvomweya wako, uye ucharoora.” Uye, zvinoratidzika, iye achiri kutadza nehukama hwepedyo hwemuviri, iyo, kubva pakuona kweshamwari dzake, haina kukwira mumasuo chero ipi zvayo.
Akanyatsopaza madziro, achiratidza nemuenzaniso wake kuti izvi zvinogoneka. Izvi zvichayeukwa nevana vake, vazukuru vake, uye ipapo uyu muenzaniso uchavakwa munhoroondo yemhuri. Kubva pamienzaniso yakadai shanduko yemaonero yava kutora chimiro.
Chinhu choga chaungashuvire vanhu pazera iri kuzviteerera iwe pachako. Nokuti mukati chete ikozvino pane ruzivo rwekuita, kuronga hupenyu hutsva iwe pachako. Hapana wekuvimba naye: iwe chete ndiwe unogona kuzvitaurira kuti urarame sei.
Mugari wemuguta wemazuva ano anoshandura kwete nzira yehupenyu chete, asiwo basa. Muchizvarwa changu, somuenzaniso, muma1990, vakawanda vakachinja mabasa. Uye pakutanga zvakanga zvakaoma kumunhu wose, uye ipapo munhu wose akawana basa raaida. Uye vanenge vose vakanga vakasiyana nezvavakadzidza pakutanga.
Ndinoona kuti vanhu mu50 vanotanga kuzvitsvakira basa idzva. Kana vasingakwanise kuzviita mune basa, vanozviita muhobby.
Avo vanowana mibato mitsva nokuda kwavo vamene havatombocherekedzi nguva yakaoma yakadaro kuvazhinji sokurega basa. Ndinotarisa nechido chikuru uye nekuyemura vanhu avo pazera rino vanowana zvigadziriso zvitsva mukushayikwa kwekukurudzira kwevanhu uye tsigiro, ndinodzidza kubva kwavari, ndinoedza kuenzanisa ruzivo rwavo, uye nguva ino yekuchinja kwemagariro inondibata zvakanyanya.
Ehe, unogona kugumbuka nekusingaperi kuti havachanditora muhunyanzvi hwangu, handichakwanisa kuita basa. Uchiri kufanira kuedza chimwe chinhu chitsva. Kana iwe usina kuendeswa kwaunoda, tsvaga imwe nzvimbo yauchazofadzwa, inonakidza uye inonakidza.
Iwe uripi tenzi wako - panogona kunge kuchine zano rakadaro. Vanhu vakawanda vanotya zvisingazivikanwi, kunyanya pavanofunga nezvekuti vamwe vachazvitambira sei. Asi vamwe vanoita zvakasiyana.
Mumwe mukadzi ane makore makumi matanhatu nemana ari kuyedza kurarama achishingairira anoti: "Zvinotyisa sei, zvinotyisa." Mumwe munhu ane vanhu vakawanda pedyo vanoshora. Uye mumwe munhu, pane kudaro, anoti nezvake: "Munhu akanaka sei." Uye pano tinogona kungorayira chinhu chimwe chete: tsvaga vanhu vane pfungwa dzakafanana, tsvaga avo vanokutsigira. Kune vanhu vakadai vakawanda, hausi wega. Ndizvo chaizvo.
Usaedza kutaridzika seksikäs uye inokwezva. Usatsvaga rudo, tsvaga rudo
Uyewo, tarisa mugirazi uye uvandudze zvaunazvo, kunyange kana uchiyeuka uri muduku. Pakutanga, hongu, iwe unogona kutya paunotarisa ipapo, nokuti panzvimbo yerunako rwemakore makumi maviri, mukadzi ane makore makumi matanhatu akwegura ari kutarisa kwauri. Asi kana iwe uchiwedzera kuti mukadzi uyu asave mudiki, asi akanaka, iwe unowedzera kumuda.
Tarisa vakadzi vane makore gumi, 10, 15 vakuru kwauri. Iwe unogona kusarudza muenzaniso, iwe unogona kunzwisisa kuti chii chaunovimba nacho, chii chaunofamba nacho, kuti uzvishongedze sei kuitira kuti zvisasekesa, asi zvakasikwa.
Pane chimwe chinhu chinonyanya kukosha: tinowanzovhiringidza, kunyanya munguva pfupi yapfuura, kukwezva kwepabonde uye kukwanisa kukonzera rudo. Hatidi nguva dzose kumutsa chido chepabonde, zvakakwana kungozvifarira.
Mazuva ano, kunyanya magazini kana terevhizheni tsika inotitaurira kuti titaridzike sesexy. Asi zvinoshamisa kutarisa seksikäs pa60, kunyanya kana iwe usingade chero chinhu chakadaro.
Tese tinonzwisisa kuti pa60 mukadzi anogona kudiwa nevanhu vakasiyana. Kwete varume chete vari kutsvaga wekuroorana naye, mukadzi ane 60 anogona kudiwa nevamwe vakadzi, varume vasingatsvaki wekuroorana naye, asi munhu anonakidza, akanaka.
Anogona kudiwa nevana, vakwegura, uye kunyange katsi nembwa. Usaedza kutaridzika seksikäs uye kukwezva uye usazvitsvaga. Usatsvaga rudo, tsvaga rudo. Zvichava nyore.