"Zvinogadzirwa nevakomana": Mukutsvaga Hurume

Mwanakomana wangu paaiva muduku uye tichifamba munzvimbo dzekutamba, mumwe mukomana ane matama ane makore anenge manomwe aiwanzondibata kumeso, wandaizviti Kolya Bulochka. Anenge mazuva ose aionekwa ari pabhenji pedyo nambuya vake. Kazhinji mumaoko ake akanga aine bhinzi guru reshuga kana bhegi remhodzi. Mukuzvidukupisa kwake akatarisa mativi ose uye nechimiro chake, akanga akafanana zvikuru naambuya vake.

Chembere isinganyemwereri yakaratidza kudada nemuzukuru wavo uye nekuzvidza "kubvarura". Zvechokwadi, Kolya haana kumhanyira panzvimbo iyi, achisimudza makore ejecha. Akanga asingambofariri zvimiti - chimbo chinoshungurudza chinokonzera kutyisa kwevabereki munzvimbo yose yepashure-Soviet. Haana kusundira vamwe vana, haana kushevedzera, haana kubvarura zvipfeko zvake mumakwenzi embwa, achiteerera akapfeka ngowani muna May uye zvechokwadi akanga ari mudzidzi akaisvonaka. Kana kuti yakanaka.

Aiva mwana akakwana aigara akanyarara, achidya zvakanaka achiteerera zvaitaurwa kwaari. Aida kwazvo kumira kubva kune vamwe "vakaipa" vakomana zvekuti akajaira zvachose basa racho. Pakanga pasisina kana manyemwe ekuda kusvetuka uye kumhanya achitevera bhora pachiso chake chakaurungana. Zvisinei, ambuya vaiwanzomubata ruoko uye vangadai vakamisa kupindira uku.

Uku kurerwa kwe "castrating" kwakajairika. Apo vakomana vakawanda vanomutswa ne "vakomana vakaroorana" - amai naambuya - inova chiyero chinodiwa, nzira yekuchengetedza tsinga dzemunhu, kugadzira kunyengera kwekuchengeteka. Izvo hazvina kukosha zvakanyanya kuti gare gare uyu mukomana "akasununguka" anokura kuita ane usimbe ane chishuwo chekudya, uyo anosiya hupenyu hwake pasofa pamberi peTV kana kuseri kwehwendefa. Asi hapana kwaanoenda, haazobatane nekambani yakaipa uye haazoendi kune "nzvimbo inopisa" ...

Zvinoshamisa ndezvokuti, vanaamai vamwechete ivava naambuya mumoyo yavo vanokoshesa mufananidzo wakasiyana zvachose… Murume akasimba, asina hunhu, ane simba remadzibaba, anokwanisa kutora mutoro uye nekukasika kugadzirisa matambudziko evamwe vanhu. Asi nokuda kwechimwe chikonzero hava“vezi” saizvozvo. Uye ipapo mumwe muroora anofungidzira achawana mubairo wakadaro!

Imwezve dzidzo yakanyanyisa kutenda kuti mukomana achada zvamazvirokwazvo ruoko rwechirume rwakaoma uye kuzvimirira kwokutanga (“Murume ari kukura!”). Muzviitiko zvepamberi, majekiseni echimbichimbi ehurume chaihwo anoshandiswa - semaungira etsika dzekutanga dzekutanga. Sei uye rini kuvhura iyo "yakaoma ruoko" modhi, vabereki vanodudzira nenzira yavo. Somuenzaniso, baba vokurera veshamwari yavo vakaenda naye kuna chiremba wepfungwa nechikonzero chokuti mwana wake wokurera akanga asingadi kutamba pachivanze nevakomana uye aivenga makirasi edzidzo yomuviri, asi panguva imwe cheteyo aipedza nguva yakawanda ari pamba achidhirowa makomiki.

Sechirango chokuba zvinhu zviduku, vamwe amai vasina murume vakaendesa mumwe wavanoziva kumupurisa kuti anovharira mudzidzi wegiredhi rokutanga kwemaminitsi gumi muchitokisi chisina munhu. Wechitatu, jaya nyoro uye rinorota, rakatumirwa kuChikoro cheSuvorov kudzivirira mhirizhonga yevechiri kuyaruka. Akaiswa muchetura nemamwe macadet, gare gare haana kukwanisa kukanganwira vabereki vake nokuda kwechiitiko ichi chekukura uye akaparadza ukama navo ...

Wechina, aimbova mwana airwara, baba vemauto vakamuka nenguva dzeshanu mangwanani kuti vamhanye uye vakamumanikidza kuti azvidonhedze nemvura inotonhora, kusvika aenda kuchipatara aine mabayo uye amai vake vakapfugama pamberi pemurume wavo, vachimukumbira kuti abve pamubhedha. murombo ari ega.

Zvikanganiso mukurerwa kwevakomana zvinokura kubva mukupokana pfungwa pamusoro pehurume, inova mubhedha weProcrustean wehunhu husina kuumbwa. Vakomana vane hutsinye vanotyiwa kuchikoro uye kumba: kutsamwa kwavo kusingachinji, kwakaoma, kusanganiswa nesimba remuviri, vanonzi "vanoporofita" remangwana rematsotsi, kufamba vachidzika.

Vasina kugadzikana, vakasimba, vasina hunhu vanova mbudzi uye "kunyara pamhuri." Vanodzidziswa, vanoshandirwa uye vanorambwa, nokuti murume chaiye anofanira kuva ane njere uye akakomba. Vanotya, vari panjodzi uye vanonyara vari kuedza kupomba testosterone nesimba kuburikidza nezvikamu zvisingaperi nemishandirapamwe… Asi sei kuzviwana?

MuFinland, munzanga dzakawanda, vakomana vaduku navasikana vanopfeka nenzira imwe cheteyo, pasina kuvaparadzanisa noukadzi. Vana vari mukireshi vanotamba nematoyi akafanana, "enderless". Mazuva ano Finns anotenda kuti hurume, sechikadzi, huchazviratidza apo mwana anokura uye mune fomu yaanoda.

Asi munharaunda yedu, tsika iyi inomutsa kutya kwakadzama kwetarisiro yemabasa epabonde asingaverengeki - echikadzi pachayo, iyo isiri iyo biological yakapihwa chete, asiwo isina kugadzikana yekuvakwa kwevanhu.

Mutsvakurudzo yake, muongorori wepfungwa Alice Miller akaratidza kuti kurerwa kwakanyanyisa kwevakomana veGermany kwakatungamirira kukutanga kwefascism uye hondo yenyika yakaguma nemamiriyoni evanhu vakaurayiwa. Chero vadzvinyiriri vasina mweya kana vatambi vanoteerera vanokwanisa kutevedzera Fuhrer vasingafungi vachikura mukubata kwakasimba.

Shamwari yangu, amai vevana vana, vaviri vavo vari vakomana, pavakabvunzwa nzira yokuvarera nayo, yakati: “Chatinogona kuita isu vakadzi kuedza kusakuvadza.” Ndinogona kuwedzera kuti zvinogoneka chete kusakuvadza kana tikaona mwana wechirume nemunhu ane hunhu uye mafungiro ega, simba uye utera, uye kwete sechinhu chaicho chisinganzwisisike uye chinopesana newe. Zvakaoma hazvo, asi ndinovimba zvinoita.